I am not new to spiritualism, meditation, religion, or the power of the mind. I thought I could handle casting spells, but I'm afraid I have messed up. I was angry at someone I worked with, so I cast a spell of harm against him. I don't work there anymore, and have lost track of him. I also started "dabbling" with sigil magick. I cast a couple sigils that haven't work, unfortunately I tried once a sigil for a small more specific amount of money, as test, how can I draw an amount that I can feel sure I created. I figured I would win the amount from a lottery ticket. Instead three months later my Mom passed away and She didn't have insurance, but her work paid out a small amount split between me and my sisters that was the amount I asked for. :( I also have found out that the guy I worked with has since been admitted to an insane asylum. ( he was crazy anyway, but...)
I always had considered myself a good a straight minded person, with only good intent for the rest of the world, but started feeling dissatisfied with life. I've seen things online about people who possibly practice magick that are "in power" that I feel are not "the best or nicest" people. So I figured I can handle it. OH PLEASE, FORGIVE ME.
Last week I started trying to get back in shape so I went to work out, and got Rhabdomyolysis. (Rhabdomyolysis is the breakdown of muscle tissue that leads to the release of muscle fiber contents into the blood. These substances are harmful to the kidney and often cause kidney damage.) I was in better shape still than the beginners in this beginner class, and my teacher told me he has never had this happen. I was a student of this class for years when I was younger, but it's been a few years since I've attended. The doctors assured me I'm healthy, through a number of tests, and that I just worked out to hard. Okay possible. Since my Mom passed away I've been sitting on the couch drinking beer, until about three weeks ago. then stopped cold turkey. So possibly my body is in shock. I was in the hospital form last Saturday until this Thursday. Friday I became violently ill. Diarrhea and throwing up dizziness and it felt like my heart was swelling up in my chest. I went back to the emergency room, they said I possibly caught a bad flu that's going around, they did an EKG test and a chest X-ray and said my heart is healthy. I have never felt unhealthy, although I'm changing my diet, because my sisters kids are gluten intolerant, and if you are to and you have too much gluten you stop absorbing nutrients your body needs. Again, it's possible why I got the Rhabdo. I don't remember exactly what spells I've tried to cast, But wish to reverse it all. Obviously I can't bring back my Mom. But I feel like my health is do to possibly other spells I've tried to cast. I feel I have learned a valuable lesson and do not wish try any more spells. I don't know what to do. IF YOU ARE EVEN A LITTLE UNSURE OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING DO NOT ATTEMPT MAGICK! I've read that on your site and others, and now i believe it. I don't know what to do. I don't even normally take the advice of others, because I feel like I know what I'm doing, and I'm usually on point. But now I'm not so sure.
I messed up. need help!