Hey there, I have a few general questions.
Do you ever feel worn out by having to be cautious about things on your path?
I'm new, I'm still finding different paths to incorporate into solitary eclectic practice, and I have no teacher or guide in it all. Since I don't know what I'm doing, I've had to be so cautious about what I do, interacting with spiritual entities, and generally have no solid sense of being safe at any time. I kind of feel worn down by the constant lack of security, but I have established some good relationships with some deities, Who have been pretty patient with me, so I'm grateful to Them even if I feel a bit worthless for rarely showing it in reciprocation.
I just feel so tired, too. I'm dealing with a lot, so whenever I get to this point of not feeling like I'm being good enough because I'm having to support so much, I just feel too worn down to really care. That's not a moany gripe, I just get very apathetic about things when I wear myself out through my own perfectionistic tendencies.
This is very individualized, but I'm wondering if I'm alone in this. I can't see any way out other than to keep reading and info-gathering right now, giving myself space to gather myself together and get my bearings. I guess I just want to hear if anyone else has faced similar hurdles and overcome them.