Spiritual Awakening?

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Spiritual Awakening?
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I've heard of The Collective Unconscious, The Hive Mind, and the spiritual idea of Oneness. All Is One, and One Is All. So individuality is therefore an illusion, right? Meaning, I simultaneously exist as everyone, and everything. So why do we still live our lives from an individualist perspective? Does this mean that you are technically not allowed to harbor any negative feelings whatsoever towards another since they're nothing more than another instance of you? Doesn't that mean that only forgiveness should ever be given at all times no matter how retched the person is, or how atrocious the act since they're also YOU?

So if I punched you in the face, even if I got away with it in this life while looking out of my eyes, when I die, wont my point of view switch, and I'll reincarnate as you, and live as you, looking out of your eyes until the day that the punch was administered, but this time I'll be on the receiving end of the punch rather than on the giving end?

That means that nothing in life is actually serious, or really means anything at all, because it's all but a game/movie/dream that God is playing, and he's every character at once, and we're his characters. So this would all be a play, which would mean that good, and evil isn't real, and is just part of the many experiences that make up the totality of the story as every good fable needs a hero, and villain, but at the end, both hero, and villain are equally respected for their role as an actor.

Meaning that evil doesn't actually exist in this world. Everything is part of The Divine, thus all is good. Even evil is part of The Divine so its good too. That also means that no one needs to take any responsibility for anything that they do, or for their actions, as you are as you are, and every action you make be it the good, or the bad was meant to happen. You cant always get to have the role of being the good guy, and so it just so happens that sometimes you have to play the role of being the bad guy, or even the pure evil person as well at that time. Narcissists aren't real either then, because they're just doing their job, and playing their part, and doing it well.

This would of course also mean that there's no such thing as a victim in this world either. Not really. After all, victim consciousness is the lowest mind set, and energy level you can be. You decide whether you're the victim, or not based on how you respond, not the aggressor. Victims can say poor me, and get everyone to sympathize with them, or even empathize for that matter, but that makes no sense for the fact that being the victim was simply the role you had to play right then in order for the story to progress. Also, since we're all one, then that means the victim is also simultaneously existing as the Narcissist as well. Meaning that every victim would technically be at fault for their own bad happenings, and victimization simply because everything that is being done to them, they are really doing to themselves as they are both the victim, AND the Narcissist at the same exact time, as both people are in fact, one, and the same exact being.

There are no individual souls. Everything is ONE soul. This means that I may be every good person in the world, but the negative is also true. I am also every bad person, every Narcissist, every child rapist etc. Its all ME. Or to put it in a different way, there is no me, and there is no you. Everything is a temporary illusion that will eventually fade. We have no freedom, no free will, no choice, The Ego just thinks it does. Everything is already preordained, and automated, and we're just synched up with those events to trick us into thinking we're making choices when in actuality choices don't exist and are being made for us. We all believe we're a control wielding agent moving through space-time when that simply isn't the case. We're nothing more than a powerless by product of space-time helplessly embedded into the very fabric of space-time itself. We're nothing more than fluid water, and existence, and life will shape us however it wants to, and move us wherever it feels like, and we'll experience all of the good, and all of the bad events that happen to us while we're being moved through the journey called life, and we all just have to suck it up, sit there, accept it, and take it. We have no true say in what happens to us, nor do we have any true say in what we do to others, or in how we treat them, as the belief in free choice, and control is a very convincing delusion.

Practically every Buddhist, every Hindu, every Nihilist, etc, and even the famous actor/comedian Jim Carrey himself, (who made a spiritual Netflix documentary known as Jim and Andy: The Great Beyond) have all come to the same ultimate realization that our true existence is the eternal emptiness in the center, and core of The Universe, which is a different kind of existence as it is an existence which is beyond the sense of Me, I, or Self, beyond Self Identity, beyond Ego, beyond Feelings, and beyond Personality, etc. It is the eternal nothingness, and when you're nothing, you're everything.

This means that physical life, and conscious existence is nothing more than a spiritual simulation. We were all created with our temporary personalities, and Egos to fulfill a specific purpose, and destiny in life, as part of The Great Work, and the Magnum Opus, and once that purpose, and destiny is perfectly fulfilled, we no longer have any worth, or use to The Universe anymore, and thus have no more need, nor reason to exist, and so the final stage of spiritual evolution after all of your reincarnations are over is Ultimate Spiritual Annihilation which is completely, and utterly unavoidable, and is thus the inevitable eventual fate of every life in existence. Just because existence itself is eternal doesn't mean that YOU'RE eternal!

So with that being said going to war with people makes no sense since you'll have to be them eventually to experience what you did to them, but then loving others seems pointless too, since they're not really truly real as everything is me, but then again,there is no me either, and so everything just got a whole lot of meaningless, and in the end, nothing really actually matters. It never did.

These are the weird, horrible thoughts that have been plaguing my mind lately. Is this normal? Am I having a Spiritual Awakening, or am I descending down a rabbit hole into madness? I seem to constantly ruminate on this crap now, and seem to have given myself permanent Philosophical OCD that feels like it will NEVER go away. It's gotten to the point that it's impeding on my ability to live day to day life as I'm always panicking now, and in a constant state of anxiety.

Being the fact that this is a website dedicated to topics like this, I thought you guys might be the best people to consult about this. I don't know what the HECK I did to myself, but I desperately need help either making sense of my Spiritual Awakening, or help getting me out of the insanity that I've somehow managed to get myself hopelessly trapped in. I think I broke myself.

I think what bothers me the most about all of this is not being able to debunk the Oneness thing I am talking about. Can't prove, nor disprove it. So the scariest thing is the possibility that it might be true, and there's no real reason not to believe it's true either as it makes sense in a depressing way. But the thing is, I don't want it to be true. I want to be individual. I want people to exist outside of myself. If no one exists outside of myself, and everyone is me, or a God form of me, then I will be lonely even if I'm surrounded by millions of friends simply because they'll all be me, and I'll have no one but myself no matter how many people I hang out with. I would like to think that my friends, family, and any girl friend that I may have in the future down the road, wife, kids, etc, are actual individual people that we choose to make connections with rather than them all being other time instances of me that I will be reborn as and experience everything through.

Because in a sense, if everyone is me, or should I say a higher form of me, then that means that only ONE exists in the universe which makes it a weird God like form of a philosophy known as Solipsism, and we would all eventually have to lose our individuality, and merge back into The One, and I can't stand the thought of that, so I'm involved in a vicious self destructive cycle of trying to constantly prove to myself that individuality is indeed real, yet getting nowhere.

I can only ever temporarily get my mind off of these thoughts, throughdistractions such as watching TV, watching movies, reading a book, playing video games, hanging out with family, and friends, using the internet, etc, basically anything that get's my mind off of this,but that is not a real solution to the problem. That is only a quick fix work around like a band aid, to patch things up, but band aids eventually peel off, as distractions only work for so long, as you have to be with yourself alone at some point even if only briefly like at night for example, when you're in bed, and so no matter what I do, no matter how long I can go back to normal, happy living like I was onceableto do, on a constant basis like most normal people,it never lasts, and so I find myself back in this terrible darkness that I cannot truly explain in words, norever fully escape from

And even when I'm more like ME, it's never 100% like I'm never fully quite here. It's like being in another dimension that over laps this one that kind of allows me to be here, but there's like a veil that blocks me from truly connecting to anyone on a real basis. And I don't mean connecting to them in a Oneness way where I'm them, and they're me either because that doesn't count as them being real people individually, so that's just as bad. No, I mean connecting to them in an individual way.

It's like I'm constantly questioning The Universe, and my own existence now, and I've even had long episodes where I'm truly convinced that I'm the only one who's real, and everyone else are "Bots" so to speak. I like to call them "episodes", and I can recover somewhat to at least live, or rather survive for that matter, but something always triggers the terrible darkness to return at some point, usually randomly, and out of the blue, and then it takes me AGES to get back out, and it'sdifferent than the cool looking evil black inky darkness that you see in movies, and in fiction. It's something else entirely.

It's like I'm in an eternal stale mate battle where I'm slowly dragging myself out, and then being dragged back in, slowly dragging myself out, and then being dragged back in, slowly dragging myself out, and then being dragged back in, and so on, and so forth in like a never ending loop of insanity, and madness.

But apparently, I guess the "ME" that is crying out to you guys, and others for help, is actually my Ego as it is apparently not ready to let go, or be terminated yet, and probably never will be, and this so called Ego of mine is the "Fake Me", aseverything about ME as an identity, as a personality, and my life, my likes, my dislikes, my dreams, and desires, etc is ALL apparently "fake", and I'm just a "fictional character" so to speak, and that the actual souls of the peopledoesn'thave any personalities, or any sense of Self, and so I'm apparently supposed to go through something called "Ego Death", and kill my Ego off permanently thus leaving the "Fake Me" behind, so I can ascend back into my true God form. I don't even flipping know anymore! CRAP!!!

(And no, I'm not being a smart aleck, making any of this up, or screwing around to waste anybody's time. This isn't a joke, and I feel something has seriously went wrong with me.) I just want my life back if that is not too much to ask. Help?

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Re: Spiritual Awakening?
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Post # 2
Enjoy the ride. While we still have these vessels and Egos we can not be sure of anything, but the fact of the matter is that we are free. We do not have free will, but it means whatever choices we make where meant to be. Sit back and take things as they come. The change is inevitable though we do not know the direction. Hopefully this helped.
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Re: Spiritual Awakening?
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Post # 3

If we don't have free will than how are we free? You contradict yourself. If we have no free will, then we are bound.

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Re: Spiritual Awakening?
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Post # 4

In my perception of this view on "Free Will" we do have a choice to believe what we will in our realities. Wouldn't that be Free Will? If we didn't have any Free Will then we couldn't practice magick nor we couldn't do all the other things in life. The thought of not having Free Will in my perception of a false reality of a mental block of a psyche constructsaying "We'renot able to do things what we want to will in this reality".

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Re: Spiritual Awakening?
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Post # 5

I was just pointingout the contradictory statement of that other guy saying we don'thave free will, then turning around, and saying we are free. That's so opposite of each other that it is not realistically, nor scientifically compatible in a logical universe/reality.

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