Heathen Jokes

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Re: Heathen Jokes
By:
Post # 11
Love this post, I needed the laugh!
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Re: Heathen Jokes
By: / Knowledgeable
Post # 12

Courtesy of Tumblr - Merry Gebo-mas. =p

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Re: Heathen Jokes
By: / Beginner
Post # 13

Other witches: Light candle, make offering, pray, cast spell.

Me: *lights glass of whiskey on fire* So, Odin, dude, now that I have your attention. Do me a solid.

Found that little gem on Tumblr. When in doubt: whiskey.

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Re: Heathen Jokes
By:
Post # 14

My most favourtie thread/post yet on spells

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Re: Heathen Jokes
By: / Novice
Post # 15
I went through these again and am crying!
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Re: Heathen Jokes
By: / Novice
Post # 16
www.odins-gift.com
There are some pop songs redone with humor only Loki can bring. Some of the songs are devotional poems, in fact "Loki the Fool", one of my favorites is sang like an old ballad. Wanted to share thought this was a good spot...
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Re: Heathen Jokes
By: Moderator / Knowledgeable
Post # 17

Things Heathens Say

Asatru : when people were practicing Asatru, back in the Viking Age

Folkish Asatru : Our goal is cultural diversity. Ours is a culture for the white race. We respect your culture, too, as long as you do it over there, out of my country, where I dont have to look at it.

Odinism : Im not racist! This bunker of weapons in my basement is to PROTECT the folk from oppression of the white minority.

Theodism : WE ARE OUR DEEDS!except when we do something illegal.

Reconstructionism : Today we must do a sacrifice to bless the plow we do not own and pray for a successful planting season on a farm we do not have two months after the planting has already begun in our area.

Rokkatru : Why pray to Freyr or Thor when you could pray to this giantess mentioned once in a list of names at the end of the Prose Edda

Northern Tradition Paganism : dont worry, I can tell you all about her. I met her once in an astral tea-party-turned-BDSM-session. Shamanic ordeals, you know.

Lokean : I just met him, and this is crazy, but hes my lover, and heres our baby.

Nokean : Loki? A plot device! If you look at this cherry-picked quote from a free source academic article and ignore the ten other deities listed as having no cult, youll clearly see that Loki never existed.

Forn Sidr : My religion? Its so Scandinavian youve probably never heard of it.

American Heathenry : Our past heathen culture

Anglo-Saxon Heathenry : Why do people always mistake me for Asatru? Wait, what do you mean Skadi wasnt worshiped in Britain?!

Heathen Academics : In rymskvia stanza 1Smundar-Edda (Guni Jnsson 1954) Vingrr awakens vreir upon finding that one of jtunn (PIE hd, Proto-Germanic substantive etunaz; here the word is urs, PIE tur- for more on words designating those of giant origin, see footnote) descent has Hlrria hamar of folginn tta rstum fyr jr nean.

Heathen Romanticism : We look back to our Teutonic ancestors, the pure way of our folk spirit, as they felt the promise of new life with the changing seasons and called out to the Goddess of Spring: Eostre, Ostara, Idunn, Nerthus, the Matronae, Aurora, the Lady of the Dawn and Fertility.

Multi-tradition : I lead an Asatru kindred every Thursday night from 6-8, and on Fridays I tend my altar to Osiris, Isis, and Bastet, and every Sunday night I gather with my friends to do an offering to the Orisha

Norse-bent Wicca : Today we celebrate Winter Nights, or Samhain, with an offering to Freyr, the Horned God, and the maiden-crone Freyja as the world darkens and the Gods power wanes from this earth.

Heathen Frithkeepers: Come on, everyone! Be nice! We all worship the same Gods! Think of the wyrd! Think of the frith! This is a grithstad!! Scandinavian Heathenry : Guys? What are you doing? http://lokason.tumblr.com/post/67476186440/

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Re: Heathen Jokes
By: Moderator / Knowledgeable
Post # 18

Can't recall the original source but here's some more.
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What do you call two heathens in a room together?
An argument.

What do you call ten heathens in a room together?
A beer tasting!

What do you call a group of heathens greeting each other?
A Hail-storm.

How did Loki and Thor communicate when Loki's lips were sealed??
Via Norse-code.

What do you call a vegetarian heathen?
Norvegan.

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Re: Heathen Jokes
By: / Novice
Post # 19
Oh All of My Gods... Norse code was the icing.... All of it funny,love how theres a slam for each sect of Heathenry..... Love them!
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Re: Heathen Jokes
By:
Post # 20
Which Norse god has the most ironic name?


Loki (because he’s definitely not low-key).
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