I've had many negative experiences with masculine sexual energy, so when I first read that the God was "powerful, sexual, and fiery," it gave me a jolt.
I'm thirteen years old, but I kind of hit puberty early. I've gotten many rude comments about my figure (ie.- "damn, you got a fine @ss" or "I'd tap that), and I often catch ADULT men staring at me; I've even had incidents of inappropriate touching.The worst thing about it is, I'm a lesbian. I don't even like men, yet I'm being sexualized and harassed by them. It really hurts. I tell guys that I don't really appreciate their advances and that I'm gay, and they respond with "that's hot" or "prove it."
How do I deal with this?
Because of so much of this in my life, I sometimes find myself uncomfortable when thinking of the God, and when He is mentioned I feel a weird flurry of emotions... I know that sex is a good thing, but I just can't cope. Who is the God? Would he ever do those things to anyone?
If God's make you uncomfortable, you don't have to follow them. For me, I only follow the Triple Moon Goddess, not the God. I'm sure he's real, along with most other deities, I just choose not to follow them.
Being comfortable in your own skin comes with time and confidence while bad experiences fade with time.
Also on another note , the idea of God being "powerful , sexual and fiery" and masculine is also one aspect of him. And it is one of the most commonly portrayed , for some reason , people tend to find solace in that power and confidence. It also depicts well his power and creative forces he has in his disposal.
However , take into account that there are many aspects to a being and energy. Not only that , take into account that he has been described as nurturing , kind and nourishing. This properties can be associated with water and a more female energy.
Though I suppose the masculine energy does suit it rather well , remember that there is always a duality and contrast.
I personally find it abit hard to put it to words for you and I doubt this well help you that much for what you feel and experience , I do not think can be influenced much by some random poster on the Internet. Anyway , Well Wishes.
Re: I'm Scared of God By: Lark Moderator / Knowledgeable
Post # 4 Aug 18, 2015
One of my coven members, also a lesbian, also had to deal with this problem and struggeled for a long time to build a relationship with an aspect of the God. The thing to understand is that the God of Wicca has many faces. Some of them are the virile and overtly masculine faces of the God. But there are other aspects where the God is more like a brother, protective and a teacher who keeps you safe and leads you down the path you need to explore. Or he might be the God as Child looking to you for nurturing and cradling in your life. Some aspects of the God are gay or bisexual and might be as comfortable to be around as your gay friends.
So don't run away because one description of the God reminds you of those men who act inappropriately towards you. Seek the aspects of the God that do not threaten but that give you a feeling of acceptance, brotherly love, and protection.
There are positive and negative aspects of people and the Lord and Lady. That said, they're usually nice. The Lord is a protector, but is less creepy rapist and more protective older brother type. But I know many people who don't like or ignore the God completely. While I don't want to suggest you flee and avoid the God, there is Dianic Wicca that focuses on the Goddess only. It does throw the energies out of balance but it's an option you could look into.
I feel that on a subconscious note, I also fear the God as well..not exactly the Wiccan God(s), but the Christian God due to a somewhat traumatic situation I went through that pertained to religion.
If I were you, I'd just focus on what you're comfortable with for right now. I'll inbox you. Don't think about those adult men; they shouldn't even be blinking towards someone as young as you, even if your body has matured faster than other girls' bodies your age. That just shows those men have a deep-rooted problem. They are sick and need help. I've dealt with creeps myself before in that way.
I completely feel for you in this situation! Again, just focus on what feels spiritually right and comfortable for you. You're younger and your beliefs will change over the years, whether in a minor or major way. You've got plenty of time to figure it out. :)
I'm sure if you made spiritual contact with the Great Horned One, you would feel much better about Him. That being said, you don't have to. However, He will show himself to you as however you need him, and seeing as you are lesbian, he will never approach you in a sexual way. The Great Horned One, or Cernunnos as I like to call him, is not always a husband like or lover figure. He can also be playful with a love for children, a young competitive sportman, and a a stern, protective, yet understanding father. Whether or not you want to meet him is up to your own discretion, but don't be afraid of him. Blessed be )O(
Re: I'm Scared of God By: Brysing Moderator / Adept
Post # 10 Sep 19, 2015
Lavenderc, I am not much concerned about your fear of God; but I am concerned about you being harassed by males when you are a Lesbian.Touching is,in fact, sexual assault. However, I spent a lifetime in showbusiness, and there are many GAYs in showbusiness; usually because they cannot work in any other industry. At some time or other, most have had trouble with the "straight" people.
Most Gays I have known have various ways of dealing with these ignorant people. Mostly it seems better to simply ignore them.
There is a lovely story about the dancer Nureyev. When he was in New York he dropped his umbrella, and a typical New York policeman shouted "Hey, fairy, you dropped your wand!"
Nureyev picked up the umbrella, pointed it at the policeman, and said.
"Yes, thank you! Now turn to shit!".
Ignore them,dear. They are just ignorant people.