Yesterday I woke up with the tragic news about a couple of friends' death.
Last time they gave their updates was on new year's day..silence from then..they found them in their bed dead, they were next to each other on Wed 8.
I have been friends with one of them in particular, feeling a strong connection since day one.. we started to chat between 2004 and 2005 on Live Journal, then we became friends on myspace and facebook, aim (aol messenger).
Can someone help me get in contact with my beloved Nykolas?
I miss him so much and I am shattered. The question "why?" keeps haunting me and I feel so helpless, so desperate because I can't find answers..It's so painful and so unreal at the same time.
I wouldn't ask here for anyone to get in touch with the deceased, you won't always get the answer you're looking for. Talking to spirits can be dangerous and it's not something you want to get involved in if you don't understand it and how it works. And be careful about saying they can contact the dead for money. There are plenty of con artist out there.
my deepest condolences for your loss. I truly mean that.
I lost one of my favorite students two weeks after his graduation and im still trying understand how senseless the loss was. he died with two other kids his age under terrible circumstances.
if you want to contact the dead, honestly, now is not the time for that. allow yourself to grieve and to deal with your feelings and emotions. rely on others to be there for you and be there for the others affected by this loss. that's the first priority. give yourself time and space to deal with your loss and grief.
when you feel that you have greater reason, not emotion in the situation, go from there.
Today is worse than yesterday because I am having an emotional feedback and I keep crying and grieving my friends.
It's all so unreal and so painful at the same time and I feel so tiny and so helpless.
The only thing that comforts me somehow is that at least they died together, next to each other in the sleep without suffering.
Carbon Monoxide poisoning is the cause of their tragic deaths.
They were real soul mates. I always told them that they are my role model. They were Love. I miss them terribly.
I keep asking why?
What can I do to send them love and light as I always did when they would go through rough times?
I feel so lost.
I just would like to let Nykolas know that I love him and always will..
I am also hoping in a sign from him somehow. I know it might be too early since he has passed lately..
I want to let him know that I will always send Love and light to him.
that feeling of grief has a surreal feeling to it. like walking through a dream. I remember waking up thinking, that this was just a nightmare and then 10 seconds later it hits you again that this is all very real.
if you can go to the funeral do that. if prayers for the dead are a part of your tradition then do that.
believe that your friends are in a much better place.
be there for the other people who are affected by the loss. honestly, that helped a lot, to force yourself to be strong for others.
and then take the situation as an hour by hour day by day week by week sort of experience.
I really feel for you, especially the "why" part. its so unsatisfying to know that you may never understand that answer.
shortly after J passed, I was driving at 0330 in the morning to get to work at the mill (summer job) and a really relevant song came on; Brett Denan "Do not fear" (its remarkable the music on the radio in central Idaho at 0330)and that song really helped me get through it. that and my very close friend.
I dunno if any of this seems relevant, I hope it does. I really feel for you and I hope you take steps to cope with your grief and become stronger for it
Dont try to stop yourself from greiving. Its natural . What you can do is acknowledge it. Im greiving. And then let it go. Like a cloud in the sky. Dont try to control it. Just see it for what it is. Knowing that if you are meant to honor them someday, then you will. One of my best friends died from the same thing. And another took her own life. I am sorry for your loss.