I'll begin this post with saying I'm not here to complain nor to whine. I'm here to explain myself, say sorry to my coven, and say goodbye.
My name is Divinus. I have been called Divi, Divinus, Ordo, and Divinus_Ordo. On different occasions I have been a priestess, a priest, a councilor, and a member. I've run a few covens in my time here, the latest one being The Dark and Light.
To the Members of The Dark and Light:
To any members of The Dark and Light who happen to read this or be led to this by another, I am so sorry for what has happened. It was never my intention to get deleted, and I'm sorry that you'll go the way of Vampiric Elegance. If I could go back...I would make someone else lead with me, that way at least they could take care of the coven like I no longer can.
I'm sorry that I can't build the coven up from the ground like I promised you. I'm sorry I can't make the coven a wonderful place like I promised. I'm sorry I am stuck this way.
I'm sorry I can't give you the leaders I promised you, I'm sorry I can't give you the councilors I promised you. I'm sorry I couldn't leave you in the hands of someone capable.
Recently, skiing33 was placed as the priest of the coven to revive it. He was placed here by whatever system Pet has in place for this. It's a good system, a necessary system, and quite personally I love the idea.
Skiing33 started doing work on the coven. Soon, Astraya ran into skiing. When he (as Astraya is really a male) met him, he asked skiing33 to take up position as the priestess of The Dark and Light. Skiing33 did so, for reasons unknown to me.
Shortly after, I took a look at the front page of The Dark and Light, for the simple fact that Astraya's name drew me while in chat, and then the coven name drew me. I was still priestess of Magical Knights at the time with Belletto and spirit_horse, who was later replaced with Waya4 aka Ahawi, who has been in that coven for a few months now. I noticed that their front page had 7 rules to read on it, but only 6 were listed. I mentioned this in pm to Astraya, and offered to help out the new coven leaders.
Astraya said yes. So I joined up under my Divinus_Ordo name as council. I had switched Divinus_Ordo out for Divinus as priestess of Magical Knights, not because I had gotten into any trouble, but simply because Divinus is easier to pm than Divinus_Ordo.I told Astraya that the front page looked a little sloppy with the massive amounts of coding he was using, and with some other grammatical issues that made the front page less presentable.
As council, I began to post general threads for members to post under, and tried getting a feel for the members already there. Belletto joined under another name and also became council, as did Waya4, and another member of Magical Knights. We became sister covens, and as such, Magical Knights was trying to help out The Dark and Light directly.
After a short amount of time, skiing33 became upset over the changes that were going on in the coven. First he removed both Belletto and myself from the coven, then he later let me back in. Not only because of the changes was he upset, but also because Astraya asked him to step down in place of myself or Belletto. I didn't want to be priest/ess of The Dark and Light as I was still Magical Knights' priestess, and Belletto felt the same way. Skiing33 got upset about Astraya's asking, and I sat on the computer, fighting to get skiing33 to understand that what was going on wasn't intended to take the coven out of his hands, but rather to turn it into something better.
It didn't work, and so skiing33 left. When he left, he boosted up another name I had applied to the coven under as male. I had done this after I was removed because I wanted to see if he intended to remove all the posts that had been made, or to basically rag on Belletto and myself for only trying to help.
And so he made me priest inadvertently. I switched the name out with Divinus_Ordo after stepping down as priestess of Magical Knights. I realized that I would never be able to run two covens at once and that as Magical Knights had three leaders and The Dark and Light and its priestess was brand-new that it needed more help.
I stepped down and became council in Magical Knights and Belletto stepped down as a member of The Dark and Light. I tried to work with Astraya to turn the coven around, I sent him to old threads and kept trying to sit him down to get him to tell me what the coven should be about.
I agreed to be a temporary leader, only there until someone proper would come to take my place and lead the coven.
I played with the front page and the forums, re-working them and the rules until such a point that I thought it all sounded good. I asked Nakir (Draggy), stoney., Waya4, Drakanis, and Belletto to look at it and see whether it was any good. With their direction, I made the front page what it is, changed the rules up without removing them.
Yesterday, a member named Blue_Rain came into the coven, and used the word magic instead of magick. As most experienced practitioners know, the spelling doesn't matter as much as the connotation attached to it. Astraya thought that Blue_Rain was being a fluffy, because he doesn't really understand the terms, he doesn't seem to really understand magic(k) at all from what I've seen so far.
Blue_Rain claimed to be a 20 year practitioner, and whether that is true or not isn't really on debate. Blue_Rain knew more than Astraya, and while Blue_Rain was a member, Astraya was priestess.
After I read what Astraya sent me of their conversation, I took a moment to criticize his actions. He hasn't been acting as I see that a priest or priestess should, he's been acting more like a child high on power and position. He flaunted his position in front of Blue_Rain, his member. He insulted her because he didn't understand the history of the term magick. He wasn't acting as a priest/ess should, he was acting like a child.
Later that day, another member joined the coven, this member, while a troll, was also treated poorly. This member was treated badly on the basis of his skin color. In Astraya's own words, "Not to be racist or anything, but I don't date blacks or asians." If that is not a racist comment, I'm surprised.
These are the reasons why last night, I removed Astraya from priesthood. He hadn't earned it, not by knowledge, not by actions.
My intentions for the coven, as the members should know based off of my post called Current Changes, I've never intended to stay as a leader...and I didn't really intend to stay as a member. My intention for the last week has been to be a temporary person, temporary only until I found someone who would take the coven over and treat it right.
I've been planning on leaving the site for at least a month, that way I can focus on my practice.
I'd promised the coven members responsible leaders and council members. I promised it being totally honest with them, because for once I had wanted to do more right than I've probably done the whole time I've been on SoM. My duty to them was to serve them as best I could as a leader, even a temporary one. I wanted to leave them in the best hands possible. I wanted to leave them well and with a smile on my face.
I never banned Astraya from regaining his leadership, rather I required him to show me he was worthy of it. Rather than doing so, Astraya made a post that made a shot at me, saying I would remove his post. I commented on it, and left it open for more comments.
In the post, Astraya had asked for his leadership position to be voted back in by the members of the coven. In my post under Current Changes, I had offered the members to step down if my actions were deemed wrong by the whole, and I meant it. I would still mean it if I still had control over the coven's leadership.
And So Now:
And so now I have explained myself both to my members, and to the members of the site. All I can say now is I'm sorry for what has happened. And...I wish the coven the best.
If allowed to, I'll remain on the site a few more weeks, then take my leave willingly.
What you have just described is what most would call the trials and tribulations of being a Priest/ess. Some stories are worse than others, but nonetheless you stepped in because you thought you could make a difference. You had Faith in yourself, and did a lot of us..and we still have that faith. So you hit a rough patch, now the idea is to be not like a lot of other people we have all seen do exactly what you are thinking of doing. Don't run!
Why do I stand here and say this? Because I have done it before, and guess what? It didn't fix anything, I am right back here again fixing the mess I tried walking away from. Don't walk away, you will kick yourself for it later. So you had a Coven fall in your lap by accident, stuff happens for a reason. Pull your big girl pants up, lift your chin and get back to it! There are many experienced leaders on this site that will gladly give advice, opinion, and help in any way possible. Don't give up and let the Coven sink again. Keep going.
I will do what I can Nakir, but I can't do much of anything because I have no access to the accounts that are priest and priestess of the coven. Both of them are deleted.
I made this post mostly to inform the members of the coven as to what happened, but also to inform the members of the site, since last night (the night I made myself both priest and priestess) a member of the site mailed me asking if I had stolen the coven.
I thought an explanation of what happened as far as I know was in order.
even with the things I said last night, I never wanted you to go...all I wanted was a simple explanation. now that you've done that, and quite detailed as I may add, I feel that yes, you did only want to do good. I'd appreciate it if you thought about taking up priestess again :) I wouldn't mind if we started again or not, just as long as everyone's happy :) and divi, please don't blame yourself for anything as you only did what you thought would make it all well :) so please think it over again ^_^
That was touching. I kinda shed a tear on that one. It is so good to find people that face the members and tell their story than running away and let the members find that their leader had abandoned them. I had to applaud that.
