My story is long and complicated. I have to admit that I have been and afraid if I still am connected mentally, spiritually to an ex of mine. From what I have been told he could have been into black magic but I did not know of this til long after the break up and it was difficult for me to even think that of him and what that in such case meant. From my weird experiences that I at first did my best to dismiss I now lead towards us actually being connected still, and for me to accept that as a reality was hard at first.
We have both in reality moved on. Still each time our connection is threaten something will happen so I gather he or what I lean most towards these days are that "they" (part of the black magic?) do not want it?
Long after our break up he tried to win me back, but it would not have been a good idea for either of us. I think what we saw as a relationship was different, I am sure how we would look at parenting would have been different and we wanted generally different things from life. You couldn't combine us. If anything I was even more sure of what I wanted from a partner and what kind of life I wanted to lead because of him. He valued a life style I did not and it was the feeling of me being second best and in competition and loosing in regard of what he wanted and the other people in his life. I think he was used to me always being there no matter what and for me to simply accept this but it was not what I wanted from a relationship.
From what I can tell he accomplished the other things in life he valued during our relationship after us parting but he did not get to be married or start a family like he would before say he wanted with me. That need could have changed. Could have been something he just said before but did not really desire it. I am thinking if he was alone for as long as he was after our break up either by choice or circumstances than that could explain how he spiritually worked his way into my dreams and so on. His last message to me in real life, before I made it impossible for him to contact me that way again, was one out of love, and he like before having regrets about us.
what cleansing, healing, or releasing rituals have you done? Sometimes it takes longer to let go. Don't expect to never think of him again, but see it more like the occasional, "oh, yeah, that memory" and then you shrug and keep going. That's how you know you let go. It's when you dwell on these thoughts and let them drag you into the depth you know there's still work to be done.
I don't know the situation, but depending on what happened [you don't have to tell me, it's personal] you'll need to cleanse/release on all levels. Emotionally, you might have to scream into a pillow or watch one of those movies where you cry for days [or a revenge flick depending on what happened. Personally, I rewatch the scene from The Craft where Nancy screams "He's sorry?!" and energetically shoves Chris. The energy and emotion in that scene helps me work through stuff] Physically, you might want to do something to get the blood pumping like kickboxing or boxing. Something where you can visualize and punch/kick the hurt emotions out [not saying you want to beat up your ex, but it's a great way to release anger by doing intense exercises and reflecting on letting go of a situation]
Spiritually, write a letter and burn it. You'll be the only person who will read this, so say everything you need to say, unfiltered. [you might need to do this more than once. I've written to the same person, once in anger, once in sorrow, and once as a fond farewell. Do it whenever a new emotion bubbles to the surface and you feel compelled to write] if you're not much of a writer, you can draw or heck, interpretive dance. IDK. Whatever you feel expresses yourself. Fire is a cleansing element with a lot of energy which makes it instant. If you can't do this safely, you can also rip up the letter and flush it down the toilet to symbolize you're done with their crap [water is an emotional element and can help with healing]
Cord cuttings are popular right now and they work wonders. There are a few ways to do them, but I feel a combination of meditation and candles does the job. Meditation, visualize the two of you attached by a cord [this could be a thick metal chain or a thin twine. Imagine what you feel best describes your connection] As you meditate, visualize you breaking these bonds and they turn to dust. Where the cords were attached to you two, there will be gashes in your skin. Visualize healing light entering these areas and soothing the pain [I suggest healing both, but I've done this for an abuser and didn't bother healing them because I refused to give them more of my kindness. The meditation worked the same. It's up to you] Once the wounds are healed, visualize a bubble of positive light surrounding you as you walk away from the other person.
As for a cord cutting with candles, take 2 candles of the same size, one representing you, the other him. [look for spell candles, you don't want a candle with a 12+ hour burn] As for colour, white or black is traditional, but you could use light blue for healing, or any colour you feel represents each of you. Carve your initials into one candle and his initials into the other [if you can carve more like a date of birth or something, you can] If you wish to use herbs, you can either anoint the candles with oil and roll them in the mix, or sprinkle it around the base of each candle. I go with a healing and protection mix for my candle, and a banishing protection mix for the other candle. Place a circle of salt going around both candles [some just do the salt around the base of each candle. I've done both, and didn't see any difference. You're trying to protect yourself from any energetic blowback like an elastic band snapping] Finally, take some twine and tie the two candles together [it can be any type of string, just be sure they're natural fibres so they burn] focus your energy on the two of you walking away, free from each others energy, then light both candles [some say at the same time, I've done mine, followed by the other person, as well as at the same time, again, no difference for me] As they burn, meditate on saying goodbye for good and leaving the situation. Once the cord breaks [it should catch fire naturally] shift your intention to healing and protecting yourself. Cut the other person out of your mind completely. Watching the candle, observe how it burns. This could indicate how the spell is going [if the cord doesn't burn, there could be something linking you and you'll need to do it again along with a heavier cleansing. See how the flame and wax act. Sometimes one flame will go out while the other burns brighter, one might consume the other, the wax might go everywhere] I'd also suggest keeping an eye out for any signs like in dreams to see how the spell worked. You should feel a sigh of relief once the cord burns.
Lastly, I would do a cleansing and protection for yourself and your home to get any lingering energy out and keep it from returning. Once all of this is complete, shift your intention to healing and self-love. As I said, this doesn't guarantee you'll never think of this person again, but it does mean you won't be dragged down by the memory.
