Hey everyone! I just joined last month, hoping to have to some help in understanding how the people here use magic. I posted an introduction thread. I got some helpful advice. But one person blocked me when I was only speaking my mind and my personal feelings. I never meant any offense towards anyone here. I love everyone! But even before joining here, I've always felt like everyone hated me, so that's why I may sometimes go overboard.
If someone can please help me in finding happiness, that'd be nice. That's all I need right now. I just want to be happy again, so I can help make others happy. I really nice person once you really get know me. However I do have a bad side that I try so hard to keep hidden and locked away somewhere, where he can't get out. I need help getting rid of that bad side. But I don't know how. And I always feel cursed because of that bad side.
I don't know, I just wish I can feel welcome here instead of hated. Bad things have been happening to me recently since I joined, and I've been constantly depressed about it. I just need some help. Please!
I'm sorry to hear that. Your thoughts create your own reality, at least to my understanding and a topic I'm still studying about. If you feel hatred, than chances are people are going to hate you. If you love yourself and others around you, than chances are their going to love you in return. You also need to remember some people are just offered by everything and anything, and that's okay to. Just step aside for a little while.
Judging by your profile, you seem to suffer from some form of depression. Perhaps seek professional help as will, so you can talk about your situation to them and they can get you onto the right track of feeling better about yourself. There are a lot of videos out there on YouTube, who help as will with this sort of stuff on a spiritual base. Raph Smart diving deep channel gives great advice is the first that come to mind, but I do recommend professional help.
sorry to hear about your struggles, but first point, i doubt anyone really "hates" you around here, you may be focusing on a bad thing [like one person being a little annoyed] and taking it to the extreme [they hate you] not every single person will like you, and not every single person will hate you, you need to not take things as personal attacks and learn to shrug stuff off [and i'm speaking from experience]
saying you want to be good is a wonderful thing, means you're not too far off. try meditating and journaling to figure out more about yourself, what makes you happy? what would being happy mean for you? look at your life, why aren't you happy? do you have any hobbies? what sparks joy for you [yes i like Marie Kondo, what about it] what makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. all these things need to be examined if you are struggling to find happiness [you might also consider talking to a professional]
a word of caution to locking away negative parts of yourself, this isn't wise. your shadow is the part of yourself you bury things, and it can escape, like in your sudden outbursts [ever done something and gone "that wasn't me" or "i don't know where that came from?" that's your shadow trying to seep out] you should work on accepting those parts of you, healing it, and living with it, because you'll never get rid of it, and the more you suppress it, the worse it will get. [sometimes we need to go through the darkness to find the light]