I am having relationship issues. My boyfriend and I have been together for eight months. Everything has been good. He's an outstanding partner, but two weeks ago, we had a major fight where he said it was over. However, a few days later he came back, communicating more and wanting to fix things. It was an anxious period for me, even if we were slowly repairing our relationship and getting back together.
We actually got back together on Saturday (April 4), but I lost control and yesterday, I said some not nice things.
He now thinks I'm unhappy; and if one of us is unhappy, then we both are. But I professed that I'm not unhappy; it's other stresses in life right now that have gotten to me. In fact, he's been amazing. I realize my faults and know I can be better and treat him better. I just need him to let me.
Uncharacteristically, he hasn't responded to any of my attempts at communication. I'm afraid this may be it. He has never kept such silence and distance--and it's been excruciating.
If he was willing to make the effort to fix things not too long ago, then I hope he will be willing to again, but just needs time and space.
I love him, and I don't want to lose him. He has indeed made me happy, and I want to give him all the happiness and support he needs in return. I see great possibilities for us. I just need him to let me in again.
Nonetheless, how do I soften his heart to give me another chance? What can I do to keep him?
I need something that will strengthen our bond.
Please help. I want/need something that will work instantly.
Re: Getting My Boyfriend Back By: Nekoshema / Novice
Post # 2 Apr 06, 2015
Well there's many things you can do to keep him without magick. It sounds to me you are in need of some self improvement [meditation, journaling, counseling] talk to him, explain that you love him but you are trying to find your center, and while you will do you best to be kind, sometimes you will be upset, at those times you should probably be alone unless he is strong enough to listen to you vent. Otherwise, show him you care. You don't have to treat him to a fancy dinner every week, you could watch his favourite movie with him, buy him his favourite snack food, even a handmade card is enough to show you care. Casting a love spell over him is more demanding and if he found out he would be angry, feel violated and probably leave you, so it's wiser to cast love spells as a couple instead of one behind the others back.
I would suggest give some time ...no relationship is perfect we make relationships perfect!!..make him realize that you're still into him and things will definitely change if he still feels the same.
Thank you all for you encouraging messages. They honestly gave me hope and comfort. Thank you so much for reading my message and taking the time to craft thoughtful responses. I knew we had a lot to work on, but in the end, he just gave up.
I am heartbroken to tell you that he broke up with me over the weekend. I am despondent and in disbelief, but also very very angry. He played it up as if we were getting back together. He had me meet him at a shopping mall almost an hour commute from where I live. We ate and shopped, all the while he was touching me and making references to our intimate moments. He then took me into a coffee shop, of all places, and said his peace telling me that there was no way to fix things and that I should just let go.
I, of course, tried to save things, saying I want to be there for him and that he just needs to let me in a bit more. I swore that I would be better to him if he just gave me a chance.
He remained adamant about not getting back together. I continued to prod him over a solid reason why. He was being ambiguous, saying things just weren't working.
He really didn't communicate what was wrong. He placed no blames. I begged him to tell me how I can fix things, how I can help out if things are stressful in life. He couldn't even come up with any reasons. I gave him my heart, telling him I would do anything to support him and be there.
He told me he was he sorry for putting me through this, and if he could turn back time he wouldn't have started. That was a dagger through the heart because to me, it meant he regretted everything and I was a mistake.
He became frustrated that I couldn't just accept it. He dropped me off at the metro and didn't even have the decency to drive me back home.
I wanted to believe that he would come around. I was even considering that Kadima may just have a unique way of coping with stress and conflict. We had fights before, but he would always come back.
It seems, though, that he has put his foot down. I offered to let him take a break to figure things out, but he said it was best if we let each other go. As a person who doesn't give up easily and will bend over backwards for things I really care about, I can't accept this. I am having a hard time accepting that he has to let me go, but is not stating why or how it could possibly be better.
I thought I tried everything... I prayed endlessly. I sought professional help from a local therapist. I put myself out there to friends and even online forums. I consulted self-help and relationship articles. I turned to some spells. But nothing worked.
Any suggestions on how to cope would be helpful. :)
Re: Getting My Boyfriend Back By: Tadashi / Beginner
Post # 6 Apr 13, 2015
His loss, your gain. You sound like a sweet girl VanessaJ, young and naive in love, but we have all fallen in love only to be hurt, so it's nothing to be ashamed of. This was fairly recently so you're still mourning, you're exactly where you need to be right now. Don't look at this as an end, it really is a beginning. You're free to focus on yourself, you can figure out who you are and what you want so when love does come around again, which it will, it will be a stronger better love because you are stronger.
It hurts now, but don't rush this, when you are ready, cleanse yourself of him, get rid of all reminders, any gifts or photos. You might also wish to write a letter to him, let out all your feelings, then burn the letter. This helps most people get closure and feel freed. You might also consider an affirmation somewhere you'll see every morning. It can be anything that makes you feel happy and powerful. If he comes back, do what you feel best, but I wouldn't take him back, you tried and he kicked you to the curb, you deserve better and you will find better.
Reading your post I wonder if maybe you are taking too much of the burden for 'what went wrong' personally... I know it is easier said than done but at times when we are confused sometimes taking a step back and looking at a situation will provide the most insight.
People will act however they want and sometimes there is no explanation. I've have absolutely fantastic relationships start off amazing and then end months later in a VERY similar fashion. Sometimes people think they want something and then realize it wasn't for them. It is no ones fault.
Trying to give reason to human-behavior is not always easy and sometimes best to be let go. Grounding will help you bring back your self awareness and bring your strength back to your core.
It may be a painful and difficult process at times but will be the most rewarding at the end of it... Try not to let this burden you too much : Sometimes we cannot give answers for other people's actions and it is best to just let go and see if they find their way either back to you naturally or beyond .