This post relates to my hypocritical perception of SoM fluffies and my need to learn from my negative and hypocritical views.
I have posted a rather distaste in the fluffs that join the website. I have been making many realizations about the need to question if this path is healthy for me or not, and I let my selfish ideas pour out without thinking of other lives.
I've been saying that we should try to eliminate the fluffies and fluff work from SoM altogether. I did not consider other peoples' situations and I only allowed myself to think that to cover up my own flaws and embarrassment. Let me admit: I was one of those kids that believed in the media witch and magick. I lingered into fantastical ideas for a age that one would let go of those ideas way earlier. But, I did have a fascination with witchcraft all my life. I remember I'd collect some real information. I'd read and I'd not understand what it was all saying. Now, I decided to do a search of my thirteen-year-old profile on this site. What I saw was remarkably discouraging. I was posting such ideas here in 2010. I felt horrible about myself, but then I realized something. Back then, my mind knew fantasy was not real, but that I used fantasy as a way of escapism at the time of my early discoveries of witchcraft. When I got older and confided in a friend who showed me this path at its realest, I had a "roundabout" moment and my genuine interest in witchcraft allowed me to find the true path. I've been learning ever since.
I was wrong for all the things I said. I'm sorry if I offended anyone I talked to. I realize that I built up a wall to block out those bad feelings. I always felt like roundabout fluffies weren't meant for this path, but I think I'm wrong. Some fluffies have great potential in this path. We all start out as fluffies, anyway. The media is what introduces us to Paganism as kids. I shouldn't be ashamed.
As far as my situation goes, I question if I maybe used the true path as a way of escapism from my life problems. But then I talked to my Pagan relative, and she made me realize that it was okay to have been a fluffy at a time. But then she made me realize that every belief system holds the "play pretend" concept since we don't know for sure what's waiting for us. So, now I question if my real practice transitioned into an unhealthy escape pattern, but that's up to me in the end. Again, I apologize that I was being a hypocrite. Any perspective on my situation as well?
I think that this is a healthy transition of perspective and it is a great thing that you have been reflecting on your mentality in this way, as well as thinking of those who may be going through different phases of types of belief.
Thanks. I posted this merely out of my shame for ridiculing others when I was once at that same point myself. My flaws got in the way so I felt the need to express that. And, I wanted to share more about it in hopes of this starting a good discussion in general. I'm a much healthier person, and that's why I started thinking about this. But fantasy witchcraft and this path are two different things. I know as a fact I had genuine interest from childhood. I remember getting valid information on the Craft from when I'd read, but I didn't understand that Wicca was indeed a religion. I did a psyche exam to get help with my ADHD symptoms and it said I used fantasy as a way to cope, which makes me a great writer. So I think I lingered on to fantasy ideals as a need to escape my hard reality then. But, of course, I transitioned to the real information and I started soul searching. I'm just making sure that I'll be healthy in the future on this path. It's been with me. I obviously know the difference from fantasy to reality now and I don't believe in that in anyway at this time. I just question if the use of magick was really a soothing aid to my soul or if I used it as my fantastical escape route. That is all! It's not about the beliefs in general. I only question this to make sure I'm remaining on a good road.
I have been deluded with fantasy and fictional ideas before, of which I eventually made the realization that it was fantasy and I was able to move my beliefs past that point. So I definitely get the concept that 'fluffy' people may only be residing in a stage of belief, which has the potential to blossom into something more.
I still maintain spiritual beliefs today, but in a different way than I had held them before. I think that my experiences help me to understand others who may be going through something similar.
Confronting harsh truths about the real reason behind one's own motivations is a difficult thing to do, but it's right and usually makes you a stronger and better person with more clarity going forward. Congratulations! : ) I've had to confront some hypocrisy myself regarding fluffy-hunting, although that was more on the low self-esteem side of things.
I think that as we age you learn some hard truths about what you want to be real and what actually is. You have just reach a point in life where it has become evident and feel this way about it. There is nothing wrong about it and you have certainly learnt from your mistakes and that makes you a better, well rounded person.
I think we have all fantasized about flying on broomsticks and turning people into frogs at some point in our life, an imagination is a fine thing to have. The problem lies with when we grow older. I still imagine, watch Disney and yes, I cosplay, but there's a time and a place. You need to know the difference, and for whatever reason, there are those who refuse to leave the safety of their imagination.
Sometimes speaking with 'fluffies' could be handled better [Like if someone asks 'can I becomes a vampire' try explaining why not I stead of 'of course not you fluffy dope!'] I think it's a 50/50 problem. Half the time the new member gets yelled at and they get defensive, the rest of the time the fluffy bunny is set in their ways and it's useless to argue. Look at the situation and decide if you want to argue, help, or walk away. It will never go away, you will always have the Harry Potter crowd [names may change but the idea remains the same] best to live and let be. Help those who wish to learn, and ignore those who refuse to. You'll be happier in the long run.
I'm not saying I believe in thefantasy stuff anymore. When I speak of that, I mean it was years ago. I'm reflecting on those times. I know for sure the interest in what was real was evident but thetruth was masked away for longer than normal because my subconscious probably kept using the fascination on Hollywood magick to numb away my reality's problems. I'm not sure. But, I had my roundabout and I started seriously studying. It interests me at an insane amount. I know what real magick is. I know what Wicca is. I think the concept of magick is worrying me. I don't mind being a general and eclectic Pagan. But everybody, do you think the practice of magick in this scenario is still appropriate if you know you take it seriously now? I've grown a lot. I use fantasy to escape my problems by playing Sims, Minecraft, Harvest Moon, and I use my writing! I don't use magick at all now.