It all started back in April of this year when I went to visit my freind for a holiday in a beautiful seaside town called Newquay, one on the last day before I left we went into an occult shop where they had sold wands and other magikal items.
And there I saw it my wand, a beautiful hand crafted mahogany wand with a saphire jeweled base and an opilite crystal at the top, and it just sang to me. So I bought it and felt I need to direct my energy with this, and then I felt maybe it's time I gave the craft a go. But my journey did not just begin here, but 20 years ago when I was a member of the church of England.
I was born in the city of Brighton in the year 1989 and from age zero I was a member of my local church (St. Phillips), I was a very active member of the Sunday school when I was a child. I loved the story of the Bible and felt very strongly about what Jesus taught his disciples along his travels, the psalms were always my favourite book in the bible. One night when I was six years old I found myself having a conversation with god, but not just praying, actually talking to him with all of my heart. It was the most important conversation I had ever had and I asked god if it was possible to save the devil. To which he was surprised, he said "No man has ever asked me that before, usually people fear Lucifer and want to cast him down just as I did in the beginning, you are the first to have shown this much concern for him."
I proposed to him that even though he is now the devil, he was once an angel just like the rest of your domain, and if something can be remembered it can come back and be restored. From that moment I vowed that I would save the devil from himself to restore peace and unity throughout the universe. This is my biggest goal in life, however In my time I have come to learn that evil is not just embodied in the devil, but also is shown in representations such as how the Buddhists view negative minds as a form of hell or separation from god.
Everything that I stand for is about love, in from the bottom of my heart Lucifer is no exception. I have often wondered if god himself made me for this role as I have always felt this was my purpose, and the reason for my thinking is because during that conversation when I was 6, god never forbade me for pursing this mission nor did he try to deter me away from it. After than I continued my place within the congregation and joined the church choir where I remained for a further 4 years. In 2000 my family moved up to Yorkshire where my faith began to diminish due to personal problems at home. I remained faithless for a further 7 years after that and had fallen completely off the path, it was through a series of seemingly random events that would steer my path in another direction.
In 2007 my brother was living with some friends and one of them (Ben) was very much a hippie, he would always have interesting stories to tell and as he was older than me I looked up to him quite a bit. One day on my visit to see my brother, Ben was no longer there and I ask my brother where he had gone, he said that Ben had gone to live in a Buddhist monestry near York and this amazed me. So out of interest I went to visit Ben with my Grandfather and immediately fell in love with the place. Within one month I had completed an application for a working visit and also a residential application to move in (having a working visit is required for entry as a resident to the monestry), and within two weeks I had become a resident at Madhyamaka College.
I spent a total of 8 months there studying on the foundation course where we studied two books. One was called understanding the mind which was a very comprehensive book explaining the workings of the mind in a scientific manor, the other book (8 steps to happiness) was my favourite book as it was all about learning to love and cherish others and training in wisdom to be able to use it properly (it was a lovely read). During the foundation programme I learn the entire linage history of the Gaden tradition or Ganden Oral lineage as it is known by Tibetans. After that I completed a three year closed retreat in a secret location where you complete a series of 1 million mantra's, a mandala practice as well as mahamudra meditation which involves dissolving the three minds (gross, subtle and very subtle).
The purpose of this special retreat is to completely isolate yourself from the outside world, food and provisions are brought to the cottage where the retreat took place so all of my basic needs where taken care of, this isolation was extremely hard but the whole point of the retreat is to completely change your mind, I can say for certain that I never saw the world in the same way after that but not in a bad way, it was like taking a step back from material life and then never going back to that state of mind. This experience completely renewed me spiritually and my path was back on the right course, although at that time I was worried that I had betrayed the church by converting to Buddhism (little did I know of the shock I was about to receive).
I returned to Brighton at the age of 20 after receiving my vows for highest yoga tantra practise (a very secret and special practise of Dharma which cannot be discussed with those who haven't received a tantric empowerment) to see my old priest father Terry who had brought me up through his church since birth. I recall sitting in his living room and confessing to him that I was a Buddhist, however to my astonishment father Terry just sat in his arm chair and laughed! I asked him, but why are you laughing? Are you not mad with me that I have betrayed the church, now I will never ever forget the words he said to me next as this would change my life forever. He said "William, there are many different pathways to god, you've just chosen this one". And then it all made sense to me, that all of us are on the path and that every path is the right one! I was ecstatic and rejoiced in this new found knowledge. Recent event's in my life have been slowly drawing me closer and closer to magical practises as a psychic once told me that I am an earth angel.
And with this I resolved to study the occult arts. I joined this websote in May 2014, and I have to say just how impressed I am with everyone I have met here, even after all this learning I still feel like I will never stop learning more :D
Re: How I came to be on SoM By: Brysing Moderator / Adept
Post # 4 Nov 04, 2014
Eternal. When you were 6 years old, you not only talked to God, but he actually talked with you? Was it a male voice? Or a female voice? I take it that nobody else heard this voice? Only you, and we have only your word that it happened.No witnesses?
The last time this happened was to Moses. No witnesses there either.
Well, it may be your belief that you actually talked with God, and you are entitled to that belief. But would anybody else believe you? Apart from children?
Brysing I am delighted, yes this is true no one esle heard it and I guess it was a male voice I heard and truth be told it was a voice inside my head.
So I don't have any way of proving this to anyone except my own belief that what I'm uttering is true, however I do have another story about how I came into contact with god, and I have physical evidence to back it up with, would you like to hear it?
This story is not me trying to prove the existence of god or anything of that sort, but it is a true story that comes from my own personal experience.
About 2 years ago, in fact it was exactly 2 years ago this happened. I was having something of a spiritual crisis and was very crossed between Buddhism and Christianity, I felt like I wanted to re-connect with god but felt I was too changed by my new beliefs in Dharma.
So one night I went to a youth group for evangelical Christians, there was lots of singing and dancing and everything was lively as you would expect from this particular sect of the church, the teaching that night was on obedience and disobedience, this felt like a karmic insult to me, and I felt myself getting more and more annoyed with the speaker.
Finally it got to me and I ran out of the church and burst into tears, a member of the group came out after me and sat me down. This man was so gentle, despite my hysterical sobs and floods of tears, no amount of crying from me would shake him.
Not that I was trying to shake him, I mean more he was still very calm no matter how upset I seemed. He asked me what is it that you want from God, have you ever asked yourself that? When I thought about it I hadn't really ever known what to ask him, he was someone I praised not asked favors from.
Well I knew I needed to re-connect with him, but how I had no idea, for I had lost my way. So then I concluded I need to ask God how he works. So that Saturday night I went back to my room and prayed, I asked god to give me a dream to show me how he worked.
Low and behold I had a dream, in my dream I woke up in a place I took to be Africa, it was like a scene out of the lion king "one of my fav disney movies" so I guess this one can be explained by psychology. But in my cream, there was a huge lioness sleeping on top of me, now of course I panicked and carefully tried to roll the lioness off me without waking her up.
But I killed the lioness by breaking it's neck with my knee, I feared I had to make sure incase she woke up and attacked me, then I woke up. This is sunday morning now and I am getting ready for church, although last night was my first visit to Huddersfield Christian Fellowship, this would be my first Sunday service there.
So I stepped into the shower and began contemplating my dream, I asked myself how did I feel in the dream = Well of course I was scared of the lion, but how did the lion feel? = She was asleep on top of me but didn't wake up, this must mean it was peaceful and not OMG iv'e killed god!!
I felt awful for I had asked god to show me how he works, his love is like a lioness that surrounds and protects us, and I just broke it's neck! I thought William you idiot!
So I walked to church feeling a little worse for wear, now when you go to this church everyone knows if you are new, and immediately I was crowded by evangelical Christians all wanting to share gods love with me and maybe even wanting me to convert (what they didn't know was I didn't need 'converting' at all).
I was handed a pen, a CD and a magazine, now this magazine was dated November 2011, this was 2012 so the magazine was out dated and I would have no way of seeing it before hand since I hadn't been to the church this was my first time looking at it!
On the front cover of this magazine was a picture of a lioness (not a male lion, a female lion) and the title of the magazine was called 'THE POWER OF THE DREAM'
Here is a link so you can see a picture of it, I also have the same cope in my room to this very day!!
Is this one huge fantastical co-incidence, or maybe just maybe something rather magikal happened that day. Who knows!
http://www.ministersfellowshipglobal.com/media/ (fellowshiup site)
https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAcQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ministersfellowshipglobal.com%2Fmedia%2F&ei=VshYVObaDpW_sQTgxoLICg&bvm=bv.78677474,d.ZGU&psig=AFQjCNH5dugsbLiLs8fEHa2HCpCBUyJnhQ&ust=1415190989882256 (google image search)
Thanks for reading :)