hello I'm a newbie and exploring all my experiences and trying to get a grasp on them. Since so many of them have brought on almost a dark dream like state while being awake but not able to snap out of them I wanted to explore the powers I can use to get on the right path and off these medications.
I suggest not feeding into them. Desiring to dive into them is the wrong direction. I am an advocate of accepting and embracing your shadow side as well as your light side (and this means that which you show vs that which is hidden, nothing to do with good or bad). But there is embracing and there is becoming lost in it. Right now you are basically living in your mental realm, surrounded by the emotions and thoughts that have brewed in your psyche. This generally occur with people that have a dark past or personality that jump into magick and feed into their past tendencies. You need to observe them, acknowlege them, and let them go. If you do not learn to let them go, they will continue to control you. The fact that you cannot dismiss them tells me they are controlling you. Magick is about taking control of ones own mind and emotions first and foremost. I suggest you focus on self healing, internal balance, and willpower over mental and emotional faculties before going any further into magick. If you can create true change within, manifesting change around you will be a piece of cake. As within so without.