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inner fight yet calm

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inner fight yet calm
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i find i am a kind hearted person usually, but at night i begin to change, usually when the moon is highest in the sky. i find myself wanting to run, to attack, thirsting for blood. and it takes all i have to remain indoors and let it pass. i do not think i am a werewolf or vampire even, perhaps, but it seems i would have morethan the keen ability to be silent and lift 3 times my weight. i know i can run faster lift more and be stealthy if i enter a predatory mode. psychics never know what race to assign me to. so i feel i am none. but i exibit traits of a few. i know ive had opast lives. idk how old my soul is and after 6 years of looking ive grown tired of it and have begun to come to terms with being myself. i am nice by day the few hours i see of it and am a animal by night. at least mentally. if anyone can explain why i would be greatful. thank you. a;lso why do i see pearls and 3 doors when i try to see my past? a red black and white door with white pearls all over the place. just curious.
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