I'm not crazy, I swear

I'm going to try to give the short version my personal backround here.

Once upon a time, I was able to heal, create psi balls, astral project, ect. A situation occured, objects started flying around, a person apologized and all of a sudden I couldn't do it anymore. It was one hell of an experience than left me empty and confused.

I was convinced I lost my gifts.
A friend told me once " you never lose magik, you simply misplace it within yourself".

Now I'll give you, I'll work a spell from time to time. I do my best to keep positive as I beleive positive thoughts bring positive actions. But there are still some things I can't do, and am to afraid to even try.
Meditation- complete waste for me. My mind runs a mile a minute.
Psi balls- I feel nothing.
Healling- I'm terrified of failing, so I don't bother trying. When given the chance, and others have faith in me, I have panic attacks and literally run from the room.
Astral Projection - It's nothing more than a creation in my mind. I know I don't actually leave my body, and my vision are just my fantasy.

So now that I have made my short story long...lol..I seek the help of others.

Is it simply my doubt that keeps me from doing things that I used to be able to with ease? I have gone to the basics in an attempt to try to attune myself, but I still feel empty.

Any suggestions?

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I dont understand when you say,, Once upon a time, I was able to heal, create psi balls, astral project, ect. A situation occured, objects started flying around, a person apologized and all of a sudden I couldn't do it anymore. It was one hell of an experience than left me empty and confused.
What person apologized? and for what?Personally I think you have set such a high standard for yourself,that you will not allow yourself to fail.Even at our best we will all fail from time to time,try to mellow out some and cut yourself some slack,allow yourself the option of failure,and Im sure you will succeed just as you did before...Peace

What happened was this..
I was giving readings in the hallway at school ( yes, this happened in my teens ). I always did them when asked, was no big deal to me to help others out. One of the security guards asked for one, sat down and I got a very weird vibe. I felt terrified and told him flat out that something did not feel right. He whispered a name. To this day, I have no clue what name he said only that it began with an R, but my cards flew out of my hands. I was in shock and started to cry. He said he was so sorry and left.
When I took my cards to my friends mother who is just...very wise, she tried to cleanse them for me. They....flew off the patio and accross the yard. I have never been able to read them again.

So yea, that's what happened. After that, I felt I couldn't do it anymore. And by it, I mean anything. It was as if everything I had done, had become undone. 2 people who I had done healing sessions with sought me out shortly after the event to see if I knew why they had suddenly felt extreme pain in the healed areas again. The timing of the pain, and when this...whatever it was occured , was in sync. Coincidence? Possibly. But that's one hell of a coinceidence.


I probably am expecting far to much of myself. I fear failing in all aspects of my life.

Have you tried cleansing Baths or spells,maybe banishing spells.I agree thats freaky but there are some here that are much better than me to help you with cleansing and ridding yourself of negative energy.Either way I send all the positive energy I have your way...Peace

this might sound a bit cruel, but you seem to have been bent until you snapped.

the security guard incident, if it was the fracture point so to speak, could have placed a binding on you.

It is also possible he did something similar to a binding, or curse.

Even feeding your inherent fears and doubts to a point is enough to cause gifts to fail.

self doubt and magic are polar opposites.

I would reccomend a very through scan from a good psychic. as a start.

I'm not sure what you mean by "bent until I snapped".

No worries about being cruel, very few things in this world offend me. And an honest opinion is not one of them.

A scan from a psychic is a good suggestion. The issue is finding a "good" psychic, and not a predator.

Having doubts is just a part of life. ;D

Normally we start out with VERY low doubts. It's how we're raised to have more and more doubts and what we watch and what we're influenced by.

Having doubts is natural. You need to try and convince yourself that these doubts are nothing but oversized walls blocking the road of life. There's always time for a U-turn.

Try out something small and work your way up. For example, try healing a small cut. Work up a bit after each time and finally get to the point to saving somebody from a heart attack.

Doubts are nothing but lies in the world, though only if you believe that are true, then they are true. ;D

Random update....because I feel the need to share.

For whatever reason...I feel empowered tonight. It's like a natural high that I can't come down from. I haven't felt it in years.....it's as if I can feel the energy running through my body again and it is an awesome thing indeed.

I have no doubts at the moment. Not sure what's come over me, but I'm enjoying it. =)

Try necromancy ;)

Iv had similar thing,then i begun practicing it..

It was like death of myself and my world,only to dwell deeeper in myself and cleanse all..

Also try rite of demonization,to keep it simple basic steps:

0: find some stuff(or clay or anything good for building..) and a hammer.

1 construct a demon like shape,name the demon,tell its personality,it is part of you

2now think and focus on this demon,think how it ruins yours life but it is only part of you.

3now smash the demon figure with hammer..

Theres far more complicated same stuff(demonization) on net if you want link..

hmmm... the same thing i feel has been happening to me. i have helped many like myself and they have helped me. people who have read the WAR! thread know this or at least the jist of it. i am a fallen angel. and before you start bashing me again, there are plenty of people that i know who have told me prophesies and legends about these kind of things. some have even said the arch angels have told them i was coming to them. the archs have helped me a lot. and so have the other spirits i know. especially my "demons" that are my past lives (so they tell me). They told me i needed to find more like myself and i have. i am in direct contact with them now too. there are also hidden prophesies that an individual cannot tell another. they can only be told by the keeper of the story. i am one of those. only the ones deemed worthy by us are allowed to hear it. (NOT TRYING TO DRAG HIM INTO THIS!)murderface17, the priest of black twilight, told me of this prophesy, even though i had heard it before, he was not allowed to tell me. but i know what he was talking about. and i can feel what he was talking about also. i know i am going a little overboard with the typing but i feel it is necessary for you to hear it. i have been spat on and disgraced by many people for my beliefs.

i know jahbulon usually wants proof of these things but i have no physical evidence besides the others who know of this. there is also plenty of evidence that lies within the astral plain itself. this was also told to me by a friend, also a brother, of a place that was connected to and made my his soul. i traveled there myself to see it. i even saw him there. it is very difficult to describe but i could if i wanted to.

(*looks at how much he has typed... "GOD DAMN".*)

i also feel like im being held down and that chains are in and around my soul. i also i feel s if i am immortal. myself and my other brothers feel this way and have many extreme near death experiences and walked away unscathed and with a sick grin on our faces.

anyway i hope this helped you. if you want to know the FULL story. message me and ill work something out. as i have done for a select few.

Keep it Sick

Kyle.
Forever Immortal.


P.S. I know it sounds strange and stupid that i say i feel immortal but i may or may not be. i am in a human body so i must not be but there is still something like death wont let me die until i am done with my business...