What to do when your dinner is interrupted by a keen telemarketer on the phone.
1. Breathe slowly and heavily into the phone. Mumble "I like to watch."
2. Pretend that this is a call that you are expecting from the child psychologist in relation to your troubled and disruptive teenage son.
3. Start speaking in another language.
4. Tell them the person they want doesn't live here anymore. Then give them the number of a phone sex line and tell them that it is the new number
5. Tell them that you're not here right now.
6. Start selling them something else.
7. Ask the telemarketer if he/she minds if you talk to him/her on the toilet. Then take a plastic sauce bottle and squeeze out sauce repeatedly.
8. Start preaching your religion to them.
9. Put on some really annoying music and put the phone up to the stereo.
10. Ask the telemarketer if he/she is single. Then try hitting on him/her. Be sure to mention your various medical problems and your fascination with odd smells.
Two hunters bump into each other every afternoon after a day's hunting. And every afternoon, one of the hunters has a bearskin, while the other has nothing. Eventually, the empty-handed hunter asks the other hunter ow he manages to catch a bear each day.
"It's easy", says the hunter.
"I go over to one of those holes in the mountain, stand in front of it and shout, "you stupid fat, ugly bear, get your stinking butt out of this hole!", then the bear comes out and I shoot it. It's easy as that."
"I'll try that," the other hunter says.
The next day, the first hunter comes out of the woods with a bear skin and bumps into the other hunter who is crawling around on his hands and knees, covered in blood and missing a leg.
"What happened to you man?, says the first hunter.
"Well, I did what you told me to do. I went to a hole, started shouting and swearing at the bear and guess what happened?"
