Heed not this false prophet! For surely the True creator that is the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in Its abode of a tiny teapot orbiting Mars with its consort the invisible pink unicorn, shall withhold its blessing of Parmesan sprinkles from such blasphemers.
(I never figured out how to properly eat a taco, either. It's like you either tilt the taco so the filling spills out the other end, or tilt your head so the filling falls over your nose and the crispy bit shatters... but they're soo good and meaty-cheesy crispy. Tacos are the devil.)
close but you are all wrong.....god is a giant flying taco named "Ja Bacon" that lives in a teacup with cheese in it. yes the teacup is orbiting mars.....and the reason that earth has a moon is because earth's gravity tilted the teacup and some of its cheese got spilled and it came to earth.
I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou a@* when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.
I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.
I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is "go f*** yourself," unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.
I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the b***hes.
I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
Ending poverty
Curing diseases
Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.
I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?
I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.
I'm sorry gunthix but I have to go with the Ja Bo Bo theory. ALTHOUGH, we should not forget the pretty princess unicorn and his legion of evil hooded care bears that guards the underworld!
Of course she is...she is my fiance(no joke) and ive showed her Ja Bo Bo's power...she knows what happens to those who dont believe....they are sent to teletubbie land where they are tortured by barney and big bird. LMAO
