|Membership: Contributor |
The Men's rules
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.These are OUR rules:Please note? these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don?t try to change that.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You?re a big girl. If it?s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don?t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday = sports. It?s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
* Subtle hints do not work!* Strong hints do not work!
* Obvious hints do not work!* JUST SAY IT!
1. ?Yes? and ?No? are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That?s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
1. If you think you?re fat, you probably are. Don?t ask us
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing?s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don?t want an answer to, expect an answer you don?t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really
1. Don?t ask us what we?re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
* or Computers
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this;
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don?t mind that, it?s like camping
My name is Chris
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't do a wrong
I can't speak at all
Or else I'm locked up
All day long.
When I'm awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie?s bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says it's my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
''I'm sorry!? I scream
But it?s now much too late.
His face has been twisted
Into an unimaginable shape.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Chris
I am three,
Tonight my daddy
__________________________________________________ ______ _____________
If you are against child abuse, put this in your profile
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, ''Mommy, I love you''
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost
To those who hate Emos/Goths:
Isnt it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a mini with a tshirt that barely cover anything?
Isnt it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?
ISN'T IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone? are you laughing?
Isnt it funny a emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?
ISN'T IT FUNNY that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?
I'm not laughing.
ITS SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.
ISN'T IT FUNNY that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.
HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY ''YOUR NOT EMO'' OR ''ATTENTION SEEKER'' WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRY
thanks to gf for support. Ur the best