To start, way back 2008 when both my parents died I played around with a Ouija board alone because I was so lonely and my uncle was treating me badly to the point of either he/I will die. I kept crying to my pillow at night and spend my mornings in the cemetery asking my parents to take me with them. Idk when but I started having a friend. There is this guy who started coming along with me. He didn't talk unless we are in a dream but he would listen and I can feel if he got angry or happy. When my remaining relatives and my schoolmates would hurt me, he would hurt them back. People from our village got scared of me actually since they say when I touch them, the pain would go away.
Then since my uncle won't stop hurting me and actually tried to sell me off, I ran away and lived with pastors. They were concerned. I can never pray without ending up crying, passing out or both. One time, the church people described the sounds that came out of me like that of a wild animal. I didn't want to come back because they hurt me. I never felt like I belong there. I actually became even more depressed and slept more. I wanted to stay in them.
I enjoyed dreaming. In my dreams, I go to different places. Commonly I visit... a place with 7 mountains and a beautiful witch lives there... A tower library of sorts that goes up and down only where there's a hooded floating guy who marked my arm with something hot... A cemetery where the sun always sets as soon as I get there and its a dangerous place... A huge shiny tree that glows in the middle of the lake which is my favorite. That friend would usually be there, but in these places sometimes he scares me a little. There are actually a lot of people in my dream who tries to get me away from him and he gets angry at them and he tries to kill them. He is only good to me.
Anyway. Things got bad 2015 since the uncle who abused me escaped prison and I tried to kill myself because I got tired of trying to have a life. I wouldn't talk to anyone not even him. My adoptive parents calls him a demon. My psych calls him an imaginary friend. I remember that last dream I had. I was sitting under that huge tree and my friend was asking me what was wrong. Why won't I go around with him and if I am planning what he thinks I am planning. He told me not to do it. Then I woke up.
I remember saw a big black bird perched on the opposite side of the condo we are living in. Its weird because this city is very polluted and populated, I've never seen birds except for common mayas. Then that night I did it. I remember waking up to something very loud hitting the window although we are in the 9th flr. I puked and was rushed to the hospital. I survived and got admitted. I then dreamt for 3 nights straight. I can't move from one place to another this time though and it's the place that sucks the most. The cemetery where the sun always sets as soon as the dream starts and this time, it wasn't the many flying smoke creatures that I have to evade. It was only one, a black hooded guy like a dementor in Harry Potter. He was very angry and he chased me for those three nights until I just gave up. I got dragged by sharp vines into a hole in the ground and suspended for what felt like eternity.
After that day I keep seeing them more clearly although randomly. I can no longer see the friend I made when Im awake but there are times when I feel someone is watching. I can still hop around in my dreams but it takes longer to be aware Im in one. I get a lot more sleep paralysis. And at times when Im trying to wake up, its like Im stuck in a loop.
I no longer try to die. I happened into this website looking for answers on these things I don't even understand where to start.
It's a long story...
| ||||||||||||||||||||
