I would consider a lust spell. You should create your own, and if your partner is also looking to "spice" things up, having them participate in the casting or helping is beneficial. You can also introduce some foods that help increase sexual desire. Most of these cause chemical increases in specific levels in your body that can cause relaxation, excitement, or heightened senses, but everyone reacts differently and some may need to eat more than others.
Watermelon is actually a very good one, but I don't list it since the actually thing you will need to consume would be the rind to get any sort of effect from it. (you can pickle them though! as it is part of the cucumber family, totally editable) You are better off just having a glass of red wine and go for the grapes instead.
I like some of the elements you've included. Instead of hot sauce, I was wondering what you would think of more like a cinnamon aspect? I think of the type of cinnamon in red hots/big red and that might feel a little more of romantic-hot vs painful-hot? Just a consideration. It might work well with the sweet/honeyjar aspect of the spell too.
A quick candle spell on top of the honey jar or incorporated into the honey jar aspect might be helpful to encourage both rapid and long lasting effects.
Of course, if you guys also haven't talked about how things are going sexually, there is a lot to be said about having some frank conversation about what's frustrating you. Having more foreplay in general might help you get in the mood more easily without alcohol. And I hope this is not appropriate to say, but it's helpful to masturbate/get to know your own body and what feels good to you, because that helps you give better feedback. I know it doesn't sound super romantic when it's put that way, but it helps.
A lil extra honey jar kick never hurt tho, either!
Yes cinnamon does sound better actually, now you mention it. Ive not even started on this jar yet, i could do with starting it today actually, or at the latest tomorrow, maybe today, it is a Venus day after all.
Another poster on here mentioned doing a sigil for more immediate effects alongside the jar. I did the sigil last night and charged it with masturbation, i have it hidden for now, ive now disposed of it. Do you think i should now burn it, or leave it a while ?
Ive never done a sigil before, so im not too sure, i had to watch a few youtube videos prior to get the jist of it.