I have a simple question. Maybe not so simple... my situation is compliment to say the least. In short, I participated in a soul/blood bond about 3-4 years ago. I am a novice. My partner, VERY experienced. She's dying. There's nothing anyone can do about that. It's been taking its toll, physically, mentally and spiritually. I agreed to this ritual in hopes of saving her life. I was so consumed in the moment, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. It's hard to describe what it's like to be attached to someone. Everyday being able to feel what they're going through. To this day, I still don't know what exactly she did to me. I never get a straight answer when I ask. And I have to say, I'm not just telling some sob story. This is real and happening. I'm just trying to get some answers.
What did I agree to?
What happens to me when she dies?
Idk anyone on this site. Idk how "real" anything discussed is. Anyone who thinks they might be able to shed some light on my situation, I would greatly appreciate it.
By my knowledge a blood bond is in essence just making a familial bond. Like becoming blood-brothers/sisters. Soul-bonding is similar, but more deeply spiritual in nature. The goal isn't typically to share in issues and trials but to have a continuing connection across lifetimes. In effect making a statement to have a connection of friendship and to work together in Karmic plans in future living incarnations. (if you follow those sorts of ideas/philosophies)
It sounds to me like you are sharing in your partner's challenges for another reason. Most likely because you have a caring bond with her and you are concerned for her well-being. Combining that kind of a connection with a spiritual bent and study, and a firm desire to heal and you are likely exhausting yourself emotionally and energetically. But be rest assured that you aren't going to share in the outcome, whatever it may be.
Here are a couple of suggestions all the same;
-Take a little time to re-center on yourself. Take pwnership of yourself and your energy. You can't heal others if you are yourself in need of healing.
-consciously connect to other positive energies to send through yourself. Step back from using your own, it can carry over your worries and exhaustion and make it more challenging to see benefit, not to mention the personal fatigue as a result.
-this is a hard one to hear, but also to say. Healing does not always mean a curing of disease, or a prolonging of life. Healing means many things that are no less significant. Healing of fear. Reminding people they aren't alone. Providing comfort and contentment, support and understanding. Helping people realize how they can grow and be better within themselves. And how you can be better within yourself as well.
-Be there for your partner, and certainly do what you can to help. But try to let go a little on the outcome. Let it be what it is, and shift focus away from chasing away death, and more towards sharing life.
I wish I could remember the source... I only know this quote (as terribly mis-remembered as I probably have) as being from an eastern faith... I think Buddhism.
"Every day you awaken, see a small sparrow perched lightly on your shoulder. It is asking of you: If today was the day you are to die, would you leave this world with any regrets? How would you correct them? Take that action now."
Well, I didn't really know what to expect as a reply. Thank you though for your words of wisdom. It's true that I've been a little too focused on the end result and should be more supportive of her in the now. I'm sure you understand my worry though.
I love her and would do anything for her, even at expense to myself. It's hard to accept. We've always been there for each other and it hurts to be forced to sit and watch.
I'll likely stick around this site, see what more I can learn. Thank you.
It is indeed a terrible feeling to have. That cross between helplessness and impotence can be (and is often) a real challenge against one's beliefs and ideals. I just hope the noth of you have friends and/or relatives you can talk with. While it is important you remind her she isn't alone, don't forget that you aren't alone either.
Once, I came across a youtube video that I found to be rather personally powerful. It didn't really have any answers, but it helped get my mind moving in a better way;
I have also come across a couple books that might be worth reading...
-'Tuesdays with morrie', and 'the five people you meet in heaven'; by Mitch Albom.
-'journey of souls' and 'Destiny of souls' by Michael Newton.
And oddly, 'a dog's purpose' by W. Bruce Cameron.
They all deal with life, purpose, mortality, and the insights thereof.