My mom died around 3am this morning. She had been sick for quite some time. She practiced magick, as do I. But we weren't on the same path. We always had our differences. But she acted like she cared about me. So I guess she did. But I still remember how she used to treat me as a child. I won't go into all of that. But she always would, as of late, beg me to spend more time in the living room with her. She was handicapped and needed a lot of attention. But I work all the time and when I got home I was tired. I work from 2pm to anywhere between 11:30pm and 6am. When I get home I'm so tired I just flop on my bed and can't move for a little while. But I could have spent more time with her. And I could have forgiven her for all the past abuse. But I just didn't. She was not the worst mom in the world. But she left some pretty deep scars on my mind. She was in and out of the hospital for a few months there toward the end. And Sunday night my step-dad told me she was dying. I was working at the time. I left work. He drove me to the hospital. I didn't know it was that bad. I always pictured her as such a strong woman. As mean and stubborn as she could be, I never thought this would happen to her. She hadn't told me she loved me in 12 years, because I wouldn't let her due to psychological damage. I didn't believe it enough to let her say it. And I hadn't told her I loved her since even before that. But Sunday night I saw her in the hospital bed, on her death bed. I just still couldn't believe it was her death bed. And she had an oxygen mask on and she looked so pitiful. I knew she had diabetes and that her legs were rotting off. But she had dealt with that for so many years. She kept them wrapped and she stayed as healthy as she could for an over 300 or 400 pound woman. She tried surgery. She couldn't lose the weight. I struggle with trying not to gain weight like that too. So I understand how hard that part was. But then the nurse told me what was really wrong with her, other than those few things. She also had copd, arthritis, acid reflux, congestive heart failure, bad lungs, anxiety, depression, and ptsd. I didn't want to believe it. But the oxygen mask was breathing for her. It was on 100% and her lungs were still not taking enough in. They just wouldn't work. But, being the fighter that she was, she still could open her eyes and move the top half of her body and answer questions by nodding her head. She even tried to talk. But she couldn't keep her mask off long enough to do so. But she could have it taken off long enough to drink water or tea. But she had to drink quickly. But she still declined and at 3am in the morning, or a little before, I got a call. My step-dad drove me to the hospital because they said she didn't have long. Her respiratory levels were falling rapidly. I hadn't even hugged my mom, or so much as touched her in years, so many years. All because of how she used to treat me. But I should have realized she had changed. When I saw her I told her I loved her and I held her hand. She couldn't open her eyes anymore. My step-dad made them take away her oxygen. I couldn't do anything about it because they were married. All I could do was cry. And my step-dad was calm the whole time. He just went through her phone like he always had. And I had to watch her die because she couldn't breathe. There were other treatments she could have had. But he didn't care, he never had. Now he's collecting insurance and will get my grandma's insurance when she dies. It's in my mom's name and he was my mom's husband. But now my mom is haunting me. We both have seen spiritual beings all our lives. So she knows she's getting through to me. At around 6:30am to 7ish am I finally fell asleep for about 10 to 15 minutes. My mom was in my dream, sort of. It was like a desolate gray wasteland of a spiritual realm. All I saw was her cold, dead hands and arms flopping over each other, closer and closer to me, palm side up. I woke up in a panic, standing just outside my door in the hall. My step-dad was standing in the bathroom right beside me. Apparently I had jumped out of bed and ran to the door and unlocked it and jumped into the hallway. My step-dad thought that I had heard him moving and thought there was an intruder. He said, "You don't have to worry. If anyone comes in these dogs will bark and alert you."So I dozed back off at around 9am. I woke back up at around 9:30 am or so. She had actually spoken to me in the dream this time. She said my step-dad did it on purpose. He arranged it. That nurse took off the oxygen mask and killed her for him. At one time in the past she had told me about him having sex with one of the nurses and the nurse wanting her dead. But I didn't believe it. I thought it was just my mom's medicine making her think that. Although I know my step-dad likes his prostitutes. In that dream my mom told me to get justice for her. But I do remember the doctor say to wait until 8am to remove the mask. But the nurse did it as soon as the doctor left. Anyway, I just couldn't go back to sleep. But my step-dad keeps her phone now. I called her number at 2pm or so and he didn't answer. He called me back on her phone. I didn't get to it on time. So I called him back. I heard distinct static and her whispering something before he answered. I don't know what she said. But I went to the bathroom and my back was hurting. I rubbed it and felt scratches all over it. She's becoming violent and I don't know how to handle it. I still can barely see her as dead. How can I help her or talk to her when all I can do is cry? And this is only the first day. She's only going to get more aggressive, knowing her. She wants what she wants and that's just the way it is. And as I was typing this I heard someone say my name from the living room. Like she's calling me in there like she did before every night. I'm really not okay right now. And I'm not sure I want to go in there. What can I do?
I'm not sure, but I saw a weird sighting the other night when I was out taking a series of night photos for my photography seminar. When I stopped for a moment taking pictures of the lonely road and the moon from where I was in my town, I saw a woman that may have been possessed. She was walking down the middle of the road - completely alone and her eyes glassy - with her right arm extended fairly high in the air. She was completely oblivious. If anyone knows what that might mean, Id be interested to know.
@Under: I think that before you think about helping her, you need to look after yourself first. Try grounding and cleansing yourself of the emotions you may be holding on to and anything that may be dragging you down.
After you get a grip on yourself, then I would recommend trying to speak with your mother. If she won't listen to reason, or if her behavior worsens to the point you cannot handle it and is causing problems for you, let her know that this is unacceptable and that she is hurting you, and if she continues you are going to banish her.
@AnEvilQueen: What makes you think that this woman was possessed?