I used to live in a home where Christianity very much ruled with an iron fist. I never thoroughly understood/believed in what I was taught, but, of course, as a child I knew better than to question.
What I'm trying to say as that branching out like this and choosing to study witchcraft is a very big step for me - and a frightening one. I want this, it feels right and strong with me, but there's that tug from how my entire childhood was held together and how it has rapidly vanished in a matter of just a few years.
This rapid change has made me feel very unstable. I mean, in my mother's mind, Harry Potter was considered the work of the devil when I was a child. Now she collects tarot cards and charges crystals, even makes little fairy gardens/houses.
There is relief, of course. But I still feel unsettled about my parents in general. That's an entirely different topic, I suppose, but whenever I think of them or am with them there is this sad feeling of discomfort.
Anyways, the whole meaning of this is that I am.. nervous, to say the least. This is something I want to do but have never been able to do. I want to be my own person without ties to anyone, be it family or friends. I don't want to be labeled, I don't want to be tethered down; I very much want to feel truly and completely free.
I feel like I can achieve this wish here. I feel this will help me in being independent. This will help me grow strong in so many ways and I will gladly welcome that opportunity.
Welcome and congratulations on overcoming your fear. There's a lot of insightful article is on this website. I suggest spending a couple hours going through them.
Branching out and becoming your own person is always scary, and childhood narratives can keep you stuck in place. [not only Christian upbringing, could be as simple as being raised by parents who hated turnips and you're apprehension to try them] the key is baby steps. Keep studying and reflect on what you feel and have learned before telling your parents [i'm assuming you're an adult at this point and can legally make this choice, but if you are still not 100% you shouldn't rush out and tell your parents your discovery]
As for witchcraft being the work of the devil, it is not. The reality is witchcraft is simply a craft, spells, magick, and various pagan paths might weave together, but you don't technically need one without the other [you can still be Christian and do witchcraft] again, soul search, research, and draw your own conclusions.
All of that said, seriously congratulations on stepping out and trying something because it speaks to you and not following the herd. I know how scary things like that can be [again, not just spirituality, lifestyle in general, I have lost and gained many people because I choose to live according to my choices and not what makes others happy] it's not always fun, but you'll be happy.
