what to do?

Hi, so i've been lookin all over the internet (being my only source of material on magic. seeing as how magic is frowned upon in both christianity and islam, the two major faiths in nigeria, where i live) for good material, but nothing, i can't even meditate! it's been 5years since i started looking up magic. i really wanna learn, especially from solitary witches, how YOU got to be where you are. i want to hear YOUR experiences, to see if i can find what works. thanks guys.

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