> i have tried being a shaman
> Tarot reader
ad infinitum... (maybe this is the issue?)
what the problem is.. i have been trying to find *the right path for me* for over 15 years!
Nothing works (most of them start workinig and i think YAY finally i found where i belong - but then after a time there always becomes a MASSIVE road block on my path that i cannot climb/move around/break down) WHY is this?
Shamanism: I got in touch with my spirit animal/s (first was a badger, second was a bear) they left me about 5 years ago and i haven't seen thenm since
Tarot: i used to be very good at it, then one day i just.... *lost the ability*
Wicca: I started off *all in* with alter/knife/candles etc... but i found out that actually *living as a devote* was far to hard for me
Spirtualist: The most successful path i have followed ( i could see near futures (sense them... i am not a *visionary*)... i used to walk past certain places and *vibe* the place (randomly) this has also stopped... I have had a *poltergiest* (years ago) and now... nothing... i used to *feel* something tapping me on the shoulder when danger was near etc... the tapping has stopped!
Buddhist: I can no longer meditate (please see the astral projection thread *Meditation/OOBE help?*
Scryer: I have done mirrors/water/crystal... Mirror was the only one that worked... again... i have lost the ability
You're not broken and I highly doubt you have lost any ability overnight, maybe you are simply trying too hard to be one thing? You can be a wiccan and a tarot reader and a scryer all at once.
No one has to find their spiritual path, some people bounce in and out of them for their entire lives. I think that half the problem here is your feeling of desparate need to find, "the one" and so you are chooting yourself in the foot by trying too hard.
I could meditate once too, and then I couldn't. Turned out that my psycholocical issues (anxiety, OCD, etc) were stoping me from doing it. You may not know what is stopping you from meditating, but it may be something that is worrying you, an underlying issue, stress, an undiagnosed issue, or you are simply trying too hard.
I would recommend removing anything stressful (if you can) from your life and then try meditating again, from the bottom up as though you have never done it before, see if that does the trick.
It isn't that you cannot meditate, it is that something is stopping your mind from relaxing enough to get into a meditative state.
You can always try staring into a candle flame and going into a trance like state, the woman who taught me to meditate told me that everyone can meditate, they just don't realize they are doing it (the candle flame thing is one of the things she says everyone is able to do).
I suffer depression (more now my wife is sleeping with my mate... they have paired up now) i am autistic (aspergic) and have *conditional depression* and am on new medication... but i stoped *being able to meditate* about 8 years ago... the wife etc happened last year... but you may be right? maybe something bad i forgot about 8 years ago? and i will try the candle flame (hope staring into a fake one - youtube- helps the same?)