There's this prevalent attitude I've noticed within covens that
a.) If you are not accepted into one, you don't get a message back letting you know, which leaves you to wonder for days "Have they not been online, or was I rejected?"
b.) If you get kicked out, they don't tell you why, even if you message them politely and ask. It leaves you wondering what you did wrong and anxious about joining another coven.
I guess what I'm getting at is- why? It strikes me as rude. It doesn't take any effort to simply type "Sorry, you haven't been accepted into this coven," and that little bit of effort can spare someone from a lot of anxiety. It would also be nice to get a "hey, here's a reason why you weren't accepted."
Maybe I'm still a little... bitter, for no better word, about being kicked out of my last coven. I made one post on the first day that was a simple introduction (I am positive I said nothing offensive or contrary to the group's core values) and then the next day I was removed. After being told in PM I "would be a good addition to the group", and for not having done anything wrong, it was confusing and upsetting.
When I messaged the group Priestess, I never got a reply and later found out she'd blocked me. I messaged the Priest too. He hasn't replied, and I still have to check and see if he blocked me.
My anxiety has been significantly worse ever since. I seriously have no idea what I did wrong. I did nothing offensive and broke no rules. My point is, if you're going to remove someone from a coven, tell them why, so they don't waste time agonizing over what they've done wrong. It's just being polite.
I completely agree with this. A coven is a great way to feel accepted and to learn more on your desired practice or path. If you are kicked out or were not accepted, you should be notified why. If anything, don't let it bother you, in the end, it's just a group, there are plenty more.
I can't speak for every coven leader, but I know from experience that it is nerve wracking to send rejections because there's a good portion of people who respond with 20 questions of why and a few even guilt trip. The people who don't mail leadership who simply click apply and ignore the rest of the process aren't viewed as warranting a response by most people. More often than not, that is the case. If you find yourself in a position where you are waiting on someone's response for an application process, check the coven page where you clicked apply in the first place and it should tell you if you want to withdraw your application or if it has already been rejected without notice (it will look the same as if you didn't apply before).
It's give and take on both ends, so if a coven doesn't reply to you after you've mailed them, ask yourself "Are they worth my time if they're not going to give me the time of day?" and move on. Some people are rejected not because they are problematic, but because they honestly wouldn't be a good fit - so there's no need to be worked up over anxiety (even if it is natural to feel that way).
Next time you apply to a coven, should you want to, talk to the members and not just the leaders. Get a feel for them and if the coven might be right for you, rather than waiting around to see if you'd be a good fit for them. It might be awkward at first if you're not used to that level of communication, but effort goes a long way on both sides and it'll start to feel more natural after you've been talking to people more.
I was once kicked out of a coven with no reason whatso ever not only that but I provided accurate information which I know they didnt know but still got kicked out and later I asked they were rude and basicly lied and tried to be something they were clearly not but in the end when I was kicked out the coven didnt last very long now I dont have any covens neither do I wish to join any like we say here: un a danja pa tur which mean one spoiled it for all but I need to remind myself its the internet and not to be too bothered about these kind of stuff
Yeah, its kind of like when you get gagged. You only know that you can't communicate with anyone. You don't know how long the gag is, why you were gagged, and etc. I logged out of my last account on friday and today i logged on and it said i don't have permission to chat anymore. so i had to make a new one fro the second time.