I'm beginning my chosen Pagan path, however I'm stifled by a difficult problem. I can't achieve mediation. I'm an extremely high strung, stressed out, anxiety semi-controlled individual.
I take medications for my four autoimmune diseases and anxiety. However, I truly want to learn mediation, but without the risk of ingesting something harmful. So no consuming herbs or anything that could endanger my health. Also, just to clarify, I don't support marijuana and in fact, I'm highly allergic.
I've tried the deep breathing, but that causes me to become lightheaded. I have a great lung capacity and accidentally take breaths that are too deep. I can't do visualization unless my eyes are open, I can't focus with closed eyes. Perhaps I'm not suitable for mediation? I'm not sure. I want to mediate on my Spirit Animal and Pagan Name, but I can't.
Any assistance, advice or support is welcomed. Thank you in advance.
Don't breathe deeply. Breathe normally. And when you do, close your eyes and visualize your problems. Build every one step by step, block by block. Take a deep look at them, and then begin taking the blocks down. Deconstruct your problems. See glowing, and calming holes filled with starlight seep into them, and watch your problems turn into a beautiful, blue sparkling rose. Imagine yourself picking the flower, and try to smell it. What does it feel like? Is it moisturizer and soft, tender, with droplets of water flailing off? Does the rose smell like the rainbow after the rain? Or the salty beach bordered by the calmed ocean?
Simple things like describing details in your meditations is what entrances you.
You can also use a lit candle to focus on as it gives you something animated to look at so easier to get your mind distracted away from your other thoughts. Regarding these thoughts, don't fight them if they pass through your mind, but don't entertain them either. Just let them come and go. It may jump from thought to thought but eventually will lessen as you look at the flame.
I don't believe in the deities as true individuals. I see them as manifestations of the unknown for earlier civilizations. Thank you for the advice, though. I recently put two photos above my altar, of my deceased Guinea Pig and my current kitty. :) Hopefully starring at them should help.