(It is my intention to add to this a couple times a week. Please question, discuss, add, disregard, or adopt as you see fit. These are my words, adapted from various sources and teachers. Please do not copy or repost without my consent. May they be of use in some form or another.)
#1 UPSET IS OPTIONAL
Whether or not we choose emotional upset is 100% our choice. We are not slaves to our emotions, and we can learn how to be otherwise. No person, event, or circumstance can MAKE us upset; rather, we choose it, no matter how much we'd like to believe otherwise.
Your mother's words did not MAKE you angry; rather, in the presence of your mother's speaking, you *chose* to feel angry. We must take personal responsibility for our own emotions and upsets. They are within our control.
Especially for practitioners of magic, if you cannot control your own thoughts and emotions, how will you ever seek to control the Universe through your spellcasting?
Remember, in the face of any upset or strong emotion: Upset is Optional - i can choose to react to this differently :)
#2 When you choose to be in upset, you are not fit for human contact.
No effective action can come from being upset, so therefore you must remove yourself form others until you are no longer upset. Then effective action or letting go is possible. Whenever you choose to share your upset with others, you are:
1) Not vocalizing a hidden request
2) Acting like a victim
or 3) Acting superior
Upset is different than the need to advocate for your safety. Rarely, though, are we in life-or-death safety-type situations, which is fortunate. Hurt feelings are not examples of advocating for our safety.
Only when you remove yourself from whatever phenomena you're choosing to get upset over, give yourself time to formulate an effective action or to let the upset go, are you then able to move on.