As a child you'd always find me talking to the moon, I always felt comforted and relaxed. As I grew and the teenage years grew more complex, again, I'd sit out in the dark just me and the moon attempting to relax and work out issues. Naturally I'd ask for help.
I would pretend that I could will things with my mind. Such as moving a door to close that final inch or so. Most of the time it worked. I never wanted to show it off to others, I kept it to myself. Later I tried other things, and again, they mostly worked. Not enough to say 1oo% that I had THE POWER :) but enough for me to be convinced there was something there.
I've always been able to read people faster and pick up on general feelings even when someone was attempting to hide them. That's grown better over the years. Not see an aura but just... know, even complete strangers.
Then, as an adult with my own teenager I began to check out paganism. Things just made sense to me. Much more so than the bible or the laws of the churches. The pagan ways just seemed logical and standard common sense-ish. If you follow me.
My life isn't so great right now. I'm going through a lot. Something tells me it's time to focus on the magic side of myself. I don't know how else to say it.
I tried my first spell on Halloween. I attempted to call my first circle, which was outside. I think I did a very poor job of :) I attempted my first spell.
The spell, I believe, is working. Which has lit of a spark of hope, and a measure of control over my life this week. It's made me a bit stronger.
I need to learn how to meditate and gain control over my thoughts which right now are ruling me at their own will and driving me in endless thought loops. Feels insane.
I think I will try first with a Shri Yantra Mandala and see how that works for me.
