Magic Forums

Hey. It might be pretty obvious to frequent members here that I?m a new account, a new anon posting probably stupid things to the forum board, but before you leave, I?ve got some questions. This might even get taken down? I don?t know. I don?t really care.

A couple years ago I used to have an account here and browse regularly, I saved a ton of spells, did a lot of research, and stayed in touch with a couple people for a while. I guess I?d say it was the religious peak of my life? I was younger at the time, I had my own views about death, and magic, and everything, but since then, I gave up religion and my views started to get more and more atheist, more corrupt. I had a bunch of bad interactions and memories from religion... but this site specifically.

I know so far it probably doesn?t even make sense. I mean, why am I even here. Over the past couple months I?ve been realizing that I need to get my shit together and I need to come to terms with some things.

My mental health bas been, well, bad. For a very long time. The first time I thought about... yeah, was when I was 11. I told myself I wouldn?t do it until a certain date, at least, and I?d give myself time to get better, and everything is worse and that date is approaching pretty quickly. Last summer I got really close, I?d made plans, got rid of a lot of my stuff, and I was actually holding a bottle of pills. I was going to steal a rope that night. I wish I?d just done it.
This is sensitive information, but oh well.

I want to figure out what I believe about death again. I don?t even understand what I believed back then. I need help figuring this out, whether it?s for comfort or as a crutch to survive. I really need help, any tips are appreciated

What do you believe about death?