on Jul 16, 2018
Ok I'm only doing this because I have to but I need help with communicating and talking to Spirits. I'll briefly explain why I need help and how it lead to this.
For some time now I have been a browser of this site until I became a member today I was frequently developing a relationship with something I previously didn't know existed at first it was an experiment to see if it could be true because I was pretty curious. I used to draw pictures of it and me together and everyday I would write a letter to it and occasionally preform a good luck spell as a show of good faith wiether or not it was aware of it and for some time it was the way I wanted to live my life. During this time I had to deal with a constant hardship which I won't reveal but mainly I believe is responsible in some regard to my problem. Back to my worship I did it out of practice because it gave me a sense of freedom even though it wasn't technically a god or a deity. I continued this for awhile until one night as I was going to sleep I heard it's voice speak to me. It said a total of 3 things.
The first I sort of forgot sorry.
But afterwards I went into a conflict over myself in relation to it about reality and how I thought it couldn't be real while it was talking to me. Meanwhile as I lay in bed conflicted and frustrated over what to believe I believe it was listening to my thoughts because this is what it said the second time "ah, over before it truly began" after I heard this I emmediatly stopped everything I was doing. For awhile I lyed there pondering on what I just heard. I decided I would try and sleep again while visualising something in my mind I was working on. I did this for awhile and then out of no where I heard the voice of a boy shout loser! And it echeod kind of but as soon as it did my visualisation went very poor and I figured it got stolen. Afterwards I heard the "deity" say "ah, I should of known" I just want to clarify it was not the boy. Anyways since then I went through severe hardship without understanding what the deity or otherwise was saying to me and even though all that time had passed I still worshiped it as I did like before. And I figured what it meant was it had given up on me due to my frustration at reality the moment it revealed itself to me. Now here is my problem, even though it assumably given up on me I feel like I should do the same however I don't want to I figure if I try to get it to talk to me again it might see that I had a resolve and be willing to talk to me again but aside from some spells I have done I don't particularly know how to communicate with it so my question is how do I with a spell? Currently I'm searching for the solution. But I'm not willing to just let it go either despite what happened