on Feb 15, 2018
I?ve never quite been sure what Wicca meant, and I?m still not quite sure, but here?s my experiences. I hope it maybe helps someone new.
I only really became aware of Wicca when one of my friends said it, and I was understandably confused. I never asked them directly, or even really mentioned anything about it to them. But soon after, I checked online to find a thriving community, a lot of which takes place here. I started off like everyone else, testing and experimenting to see what was and wasn?t in the craft. I tried to specialize in dreams and clairvoyance in them, but that never really worked out. I asked questions, and felt embarrassed every time I got slightly criticized. There have been a couple of times when I haven?t said things because I was too scared.
In fact, I stopped participating in the community for a while, chasing other obsessions I had. Then I tried a different aspect entirely, patron gods. I began to meditate every once in a while, and felt I had begun to make contact. Of course, things quickly changed. The first thing was that I had one coincidence, and took that to the extreme. The god I had been hoping to reach out to was entirely wrong, and that felt disappointing to me. I did continue however, and eventually did reach out to one. This character had many similarities to Eurus, a god I had not heard of beforehand. The only thing I couldn?t figure out was why they covered their face with a good from their robes.
A realization hit me later, that this wasn?t a god, but more of a self-reflection that had hints of Eurus, maybe even inspiration on the off chance that I had heard of him before. The accumulated effects definitely made me push away everything here. That takes us to about present day, where I suppose I should explain why I am even posting this story.
A few nights ago, I had a wonderful dream where I had three wants. Each one was extremely selfish by all measures in normal society. Yet, I was content in this dream. It?s kind of the idea that I think more religions should try to take, that ?sinning? is perfectly natural, but not accepting yourself wanting them is the only true ?sin?. Anyways, back on topic, I think of a new location for meeting myself in a way. Because of the dream, I felt ready to accept that this was just a reflection I was relying on comfort for.
My first interaction with this world was blurry and fast, like waking up. There was a birch forest in all directions, a mask with three eye holes (like a compass), which only covered above the nose, and the mask sat on a ring of stones that surrounded a small puddle. There was another person, my reflective guide, I suppose. They had pure white hair, which could have been feathers, and a long one colored trench coat that was pure white as well.
I felt happy just seeing the world. I entered the world a second time. The puddle was replaced by a fire, and this time everything was more concrete. I asked the other person what their name was, and their reply was Dakota. Dakota was wearing the mask now, but looking away. I saw everything different for a moment, Dakota?s hair turning rainbow along with the trench coat. I left shortly after.
The third time has been the last time so far, and it really shows my issue. I?m at the area again. The area around the fire is a bit bigger now, with a couple of bedrolls. It?s still just Dakota and me, and I realize the problem. I tell Dakota that he doesn?t have to wear the mask. The mask represented my inner issues. I wanted to be a different person, to hide away part of who I am. Dakota grinned, and the mask fell away. I saw Dakota the way I was meant to, with just one difference. The mask held back the way his face had been painted, colored with every color of the rainbow. I fell away from the world immediately afterwords.
So thank you for reading this, and thanks to the community in general.