I dont really know why, but Ive just had a reliazation and would like to have some input. So, Ive got this strange fear of heights. I know its common, but the way it affects me is very odd. Im fine with most heights, just some nervousness beforehand. But Im absolutely terrified of some random situations. One I remember clearly was when I was in some sort of stadium, looked out a window and had a complete breakdown. Even so, Im fine near the top of hotels, Im just not stupidly leaning, at the same distance as I was in the stadium from a window.
Yet, in other situations Im fine. I know this isnt magickal by itself, but the dreams that follow make me curious. So, Ive had dreams that tell of the future. Death on its own happens a lot, and it these dreams Im specifically the one dying. Poison of a jellyfish, tiger eating me alive and some force of pure darkness are just a few. I wake up right before I die in these dreams, and half the time its the alarm, mysteriously going off at just the right time.
Ive looked into it, and accept the deity that protects me in these scenarios. But, whenever I do die, and feel a tingly feeling when I wake up, its these odd situations involving heights. If Im supposed to be protected, why do I only die from heights, and furthermore why am I so particular in my fear? Or am I just being a bit paranoid?
Fears of heights and dreams can both be funny like that -- funny strange, not funny ha-ha, as the saying goes.
My own fear of height is quite conditional. I am the weirdo who stands on the edge of a cliff, one foot half-way off the ledge, pointing out something on the ground below. But on a short ladder, I freeze up. For me, it has to do with certain conditions such as a feeling of stability. If there are spaces beneath me (some stadiums, ladders, etc.), I can be easily scared.
Dreams pull information from the subconscious, and often use these as an expression of some prominent current emotion. For example, I have a fear of losing control in my vehicle, and the feeling of moving when, for example, a large vehicle adjacent my own starts to creep forward when in stopped traffic gives me a feeling that I'm about to be in a wreck. I have also driven (for lack of a better word) on very icy roads. These things combined result in dreams about sliding around on the road, having minimal control, while the car nearly collides with other vehicles and obstacles, and even has several collisions. Usually this happens when I am feeling out of control in my own life, and that circumstances are getting out of hand.
Something is causing you to have dreams about death. Sometimes this is just some concept being expressed. "What happens if I am bit by this venomous creature?" Then it explores possibilities.
Death in dreams is often traumatic enough to wake someone up. Sometimes it is not; I have died in dreams, and sometimes it ends the dreams, while sometimes I either find myself experiencing my death as a separate character or as an out-of-body experience within the dream, wherein I am looking on at what happens after my demise. Again, it is my mind working out what it thinks may be feasible. After all, a common question on contemplating one's death is what comes after -- both in the afterlife and here on earth. Of course life goes on, but we cease to experience it, at least in the same capacity.
The tingling feeling when you wake up could be the result of an adrenaline rush from experiencing a realistic enough death scenario to shock you awake.
Take any of this as you will. It does not rule out your belief that a deity is protecting you. Explore your own religious opinions, if you want to find out who it may be.