Good evening to all! I am posting on this forum, as I have had some very...odd experiences in my life, and I am starting to realize that there's much more beneath this flesh. There has always been a fascination with 'dark things' for me, much so that I have seen physical manifestations as a child and even some now (although more auditory than visual). I have always had the sense that there is this immense power I hold, as many people tend to have this 'fear' of me, and I also have had friends tell me that inside of me is 'a dark, black hollow with a small trimming of light'. Magic has always been a 'no-no', being raised by two self-proclaimed Christians, who in my opinion, seem mentally unstable. My definition of 'God' has varied, being a Christian, then Atheist, then Higher-Self, etc... and I am very confused. I have cast before, and the results, staggering. Sometimes I even scare myself! I just want to eliminate fears regarding the 'esoteric', and maybe some direction, regarding who or what I really am. People in public seem to also take notice of this 'side', and oftentimes go out of their way to help me or put me first in some reverent manner (which is odd to me). There is more to this tale, but I'd rather spare this forum my Dr Phil session, so I shall leave it at this: would someone kindly point me in the right direction, so I can have peace of mind, and harness this 'power' and figure out what's really going on in this 'physical' realm? Thank you all, namaste :)
The best tools (as in, a mental toolbox) that I've found for this were probably best put by Terry Pratchett, who's a fantasy author but chocks his books full of love for science and philosophy.
As a mirror of a scientific process, those tools are: first sight, and second thoughts.
A lot of psychics talk about "second sight" but for witches to truly be wise then it's more about seeing things as they are instead of covering it with some personal interpretation.
Second thoughts doesn't mean that you doubt yourself, only that you can think about how you're thinking.
That leads closer to the truth.
As for the shadows and darkness, I'd advise meditating on that, exploring it a little more. It could be your true nature, even though usually it's a miasma or a block or an out-of-proportion shadow or something.
Sorry that I can't really point out in the right direction, because it comes off to me that the direction is more inward of your context rather than out somewhere, but of course that's only my opinion. If anyone else finds something that leads you to an ah-ha moment then kudos.
Thank you for your advice. I understand answers come from within, they are however difficult at times to retrieve, when the mind races like twister. I appreciate the response, and will meditate for my answers.