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How would I tell my mom..

Forums ► Misc Topics ► How would I tell my mom..
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How would I tell my mom..
Post # 1
So I've been practicing as a Pagan for two years and I know that this is what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. One problem: my mom is very devout Catholic, and she's one of the ones that think that only their religion is the true one and whatnot. She found out once before and threw out all of my stuff. I posted here because I was hopping I could get advice from someones who have gone through it before. I would like to know how you told your parents. Thanks in advance,
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Re: How would I tell my mom..
Post # 2
The best thing to do is to keep it a secret. Until your able to move outta the house and become independant financially and so on. Thats what i'm planning to do, you could also try to tell your mother about how the bible also tells stories of jesus and god performing magickal arts to heal, bring back life, part the sea, and so on.
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Re: How would I tell my mom..
By: / Beginner
Post # 3
The thing is, whathehecat, you probably should introduce her to it. This is what I found on another site once. I would recommend not saying anything but, what you could do is find some friendly looking rules of Paganism and put one on your wall and leave it up for three or four weeks, don't put that it's Pagan or anything, but just write it one a piece of paper and put it up on your wall. After your mom get's used to seeing that one your wall, take it down and put another one up for another couple weeks. Remember, don't put any pentagrams or anything like that on your wall because Christian's see the pentagram as being evil. Instead, look up another symbol, try and find one that used to be Pagan and is now Christian. It might confuse your mom but at least when the time comes she knows that you're showing her faith a lot of respect. Anyway, every couple weeks switch out some really friendly rules, if she doesn't like one rule after a few weeks are over, keep it up longer until she gets used to seeing it. Then, after you've gone through all the rules, try meditating in a place she can see you but, that makes you look like you're pretending that she can't see you. Then, after she gets used to the meditation there, move to a place where she can see you a little bit more to meditate, after she get's used to that, move into another place she can see you just a bit more, until she is right in front of you when you meditate. Then, pick a pagan symbol, that's not a pentagram, or something else recognizable to the christian church, start wearing it somewhere your mom can't see it for a while. Then hike it up so you're mom can see just the chain, then when she gets used to that, hike it up so she can see only a little bit of the necklace, and just keep hiking it up when she gets used to it so she can see the whole entire necklace. Remember, don't use any dark colors, always use bright colors for your writings and your necklace so that it's not seen as something evil. Bright colors tend to make people feel better about seeing something. Put it this way, if you saw someone wearing all black in the spring time and everyone else is wearing green, yellow, pink, or something like that, would you want to be around them? I don't know about you, but they would look pretty depressing compared to everybody else. Also, look happy when you meditate, when you write the words, and whatever else you do. If your mom can see that your happy she might be more accepting. Also, I'd try and find a spell online so when you finally decide to tell her it might soften her up a bit and make her less agitated. Remember, dropping the I'm a Pagan, surprise on your parent is not always the best thing to do.
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Re: How would I tell my mom..
By: / Beginner
Post # 4
Oh, when I put I would recommend saying anything, I meant put I wouldn't, sorry about the typo.
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Re: How would I tell my mom..
By: / Knowledgeable
Post # 5
My mother knew my beliefs throughout my entire childhood. But she did not like witchcraft at all. To her, witchcraft was entirely different than Cherokee medicine (which she taught me). She actually felt witchcraft was dark/evil. I studied and practiced witchcraft in secret for a while. I continued to bring it up in conversation, despite the glares. When I was about 15/16yo a malicious spirit began to give her violent nightmares and "haunt", I jumped at the opportunity! Since it had already targeted her, she was having trouble getting rid of it herself. (She wasn't very good under pressure.) So I offered to help her...MY way. She was hesitant but agreed. Her dislike for witchcraft wasn't greater than her dislike for the troublesome spirit. After that, she actually started asking me questions about it, was more tolerant and listened when I spoke about it without the glaring. Her only request was that I not practice in her presence, which I had no problem with.

I've never sat down and told my father. I have brought up in conversation that I am not Christian, but that's it. I don't feel that its necessary to discuss it like it's an issue. I openly wear my celtic knot pentacle around him and my daughter wears a witches knot around her neck. So I'm pretty sure he knows. My father is open about all reliigons. He's a very grounded spiritual person but has no set religion.

When I married my husband we lived in an "inlaw" apartment above his mother for about a year. His grandfather and grandmother were well into witchcraft, but his mother was not (although gifted with spiritual sight). She began visiting metaphysical shops with me, and now she wears a pentacle around her neck. Her parents never taught her. She doesn't have a desire to learn, but she's familiar with it.

I guess I had it a lot easier than many of you. But really, I think it's as big of an issue as you make it. It's your own personal choice in life and it's no one else's business. I don't tell many people. I lived with my step father (Catholic) and mother during most of my childhood, and my step father never knew. Honestly, it doesn't come up often if at all. And I don't just blurt out "I'm pagan" randomly. I think people would find that a bit odd.

The only question I'm asked is "Do you accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your Lord and Savior?" by a passing Christian. (Can you tell I hear it often?) 9 times out of 10, I lie and say "yes" just so that they will leave me alone. One of the very few times I ever lie! I have more important things to do than bicker about why I'm not going to hell. The funniest reply to me saying "yes" was "are you sure?" Classic. I wonder what gave me away...

My view is, it's a personal belief and I like to keep it that way. Unless you specifically ask or show interest, you'll never know. So if you've been pagan for two years already, why not be it for a few more without anyone knowing? There is no rush. Do it when YOU want to and when it is convenient to you. If telling your mother can effect your life in a negative way, why do it?
Your spiritual beliefs are apart of who you are. If your parents don't know who you are, I think that's their fault, not yours. There should be open communication that is not judgemental, and I'm sorry you don't have that, at least in terms of faith (I don't know how far it goes). Her not knowing is directly connected to her choices and the effects that those choices have on your relationship. So don't feel badly.
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Re: How would I tell my mom..
Post # 6
from personal experiance i wpuld advise waiting till you have moved out and are independent to tell your parents.. if i could have 1 do-over i would definatly change that i told my parents... it pretty much ruined our relationship.
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