This is a story to the absolute best to my knowledge so if you have a correction to make, please post it. Also, I was infamous in my last coven for giving hilarious bible stories and this is one:
On Christmas, when Jesus was born into the world, it wasn't easy. Joseph had little idea on how to and Mary was obviously doing other things and completely inebriated to deliver her own kid.
Enter Saint Brigid (a saint born literally hundreds of years later but let's not focus on that). She walks in with a green fluttering mantle and flaming red hair, cracks her knuckles, and says, "Okay, let's do this! I was a goddess of Midwifery before the Christians made me a saint, so I've got all the qualifications! :) "
Mary probably doesn't care too much being in serious labor pain but I'm sure she was relieved Brigid was a professional. So a couple of one-two-three-pushes later, we got a baby, the Son of God screaming his head off in a manger, an exhausted mother, a dad just now realizing the son of god is going to go through terrible twos on top of never getting sleep for the rest of his life, and a Brigid handling the billing for her services and time-travel expenses.
Once Mary comes to and is probably nursing the baby with Brigid's help, she is terribly glad there was an actual midwife there that just so happened to appear from the future. Brigid is like, "Psh, I'm just glad to help. Well, since you want to thank me, how about I have the feast day before yours? Yeah don't worry about what I mean, it won't be invented for another hundred years or so. Deal?"
Mary, still reeling from the trauma that is childbirth is like, "Uh, yeah, uh, sure?"
And so Brigid is like "Cool! Okay, so here's some instructions on how to care for baby, Dad, you better pull your weight too, and I'll probably see you guys in the afterlife" and vanishes I'm assuming in a time-machine not unlike the TARDISto get back to the 500's where she continued to be a total boss with a cross.
Fast forward in Mary's time to February second. Childbirth was a roller coaster and she may have been visited by an alien, who knows. She gets to the temple to purify herself because her body finally decided to be a human body that didn't have a second one inside, and also to circumcise her baby because they're Jews. She gets in, the Priest is about to do his blessing when he's like "whoa, hold up! This baby is what? Sweet God on high, I can't bless this baby!"
Mary, who is probably exhausted and not in the mood for games, probably says, "I swear to God, bless the baby so I can go home, my show is on."
Priest is like, "Dude, I literally can't. He's the son of God. If anything, I should be asking for his blessing!"
Now Mary is getting ticked, holds out the baby like, "Just bless him so I can go home!"
So the priest blesses him, godly stuff happens cause God is like, "Yup, that's my boy!" and Mary can finally go home to hand baby duty to Joseph so she can finally get some sleep.
Meanwhile in the 500s....
Brigid is doing her saintly stuff, converting her druid dad to christianity while weaving a sick cross, life's good. But before that!
Meanwhile in the pre-Christian god knows how long ago......
Goddess Brigid lah-de-dah-ing around, doing what she does best, soaking up the summer, spreading joy and love and children, doing the thing. Enter the Calieach, the Winter Hag, who's like, "Okay, that is it! I have had enough of your sunny disposition!" and steals her away to a mountain prison.
Now the Tuatha de Danann are like, "Cripes, now we gotta go save her. That sucks, we were going to go bowling!" But they take their sweet time so Brigid is in there from Halloween until February first-ishand the land has frozen over. Angus Mac Og is like, "Okay, I'm just gonna go get her, be right back, because that girl can get a strike like nothing else!" So he and a small army go up, bust Brigid out of jail, and barely make it out alive. Spring hits the land now that she's free and summer is around the corner.
Meanwhile in an alternate universe....
Brigid gets seasonal depression. She's like, "Nope, I'm done. Not gonna be sunny anymore. I just wanna be an old hag in the mountains." So she transforms into the Calieach, the Hag of Winter. After a few months, she's like "Eh, I'm over it. I'm feeling sunny again." Goes to the nearest holy well and bam! We got the Maiden of Spring back!
This has been a retelling of Candlemas and Imbolc. Candlemas is Feb. 2nd, Imbolc is Feb. 1st.
