Hi all, I am looking for a little help regarding a family issue. Myself and my kids have never been lucky but lately this seems to be getting worse. I am desperate to help my daughter who wants to return to Australia but can't as she is being dragged throught the courts by her ex regarding guardianship of their son. Unfortunately I always thought him to be beyond cruel and bordering on evil. He is a control freak and lies his way through life. We have now attended court on two occasions and no decision has been made, next court date is May.....can anybody offer me guidance before then???
Thanks in advance, Liv
Cases like this are always difficult. On the day of court take a dandelion with you ( find a field of them and ASK if you may have one of the blossoms. Barring that some ' high john' in your pocket will do as well. If he does in fact 'lie' his way thru life then evidence of any lie MUST be taken to court to 'show' this fact. Where is he and why does she want to go to Aus ?
By: WhiteRav3n / Knowledgeable Apr 04, 2012
Post # 5
I'm sorry, I won't get involved. I believe a father's role in a boy's life is important, even limited visitation should be allowed. Your daughter chose to have a child with this man, and now they hold a tie for as long as that child lives. If the mother takes that away, there a chance that the child will later seek out his father and leave when he comes of age to do so. Mutual visitation is best because it gives a child the ability to decide for themselves later if they desire to continue to remain in each parent's life. My mother tried desperately to keep my father away due to her own personal issues with him. Due to her obsessions, I want nothing to do with her, and I am close to my father. Such things can backfire badly on the parents. Lying isn't the worst trait a man can have. It isn't great, but that doesn't reflect on how he is as a father, and that is the most important thing to consider. Being considerate to a child's feelings is key to being a good parent. When parents lose sight of that, it can lead down a dark path and push a child away. If anything happened between me and my husband, I would want equal visitation, because in doing so, I'd be showing my daughter that I love her enough to keep to a commitment and give her freedom to have a relationship with both of us, despite my own feelings. Love is self-sacrifice.
By control freak I assume that there was some emotional abuse going on. Yeah this is pretty much a nightmare situation. Being a beginner I can't help you with magic but I really recommend putting a little oomph into this case. If you have money this can be easy if not it might be a problem. Invest in a good lawyer, a shrink might be able to testify that the father is unfit to care for the child. A liar and control freak is a terrible combination in a divorced father. I can imagine the nonsense the kid will hear about his mother ad abusers have the tendency to turn on their children. If he is abusive make sure that your daughter makes this very clear. Try a luck spell or two I wish you and your family the best.
P.S. if your daughter is in the US, many states ask children ten years and older about their preferences during the custody trial and take this into account.