Again, I find that you are over-reaching with your concept of energy. Everything is energy, but again manipulation of matter and other significant changes requires such a ripple-effect of changes from the atomic level up well...
Here, an example.
Fire is not a thing by itself. With flame you are witnessing the rapid acceleration of particles, forcing matter to change its state. The result is the emission of light (the flame), smoke (a variation of the burning matter's state), ash, melted wax, etc. etc.
To cause this event, you would have to turn will, intention, desire, focus, visualization, etc. from thought... a process built primarily in the firing of synapses in the brain/nerves, changing hormone levels, variations in blood pressure, and other psycho-somatic symptoms within the body... into something that causes the matter in question... say a candle wick.... to accelerate to a point where it changes state and combusts, releasing gas, etc. More pointedly, you would also have to do this in a manner that caused ONLY the matter of the candle's wick to combust, and nothing else around it.
Now, how does this intense energy transfer from your body, your accelerated heartbeat, the firing of your nervous system, etc. to the candle wick without at all impacting any of the other molecules around you, or the candle, to similarly agitate, heat up, and combust? A match or lighter does this because of a rapid chemical reaction. Friction causes the matter of the match to ignite rapidly, and then the cardboard/paper/wood stem provides fuel for subsequent flame. A lighter uses flint to cause a spark which causes the released gas to ignite. And you are going to try to do this with nothing more than your mind?
This then presumes that if you are going to cause these changes only in a very specific location you would also have control enough to impact it in such a way that steps outside conventional concepts of space and time. You would have to transfer this energy through space/time without impacting that space/time between you and the candle flame. This, physically, is impossible. Just as the air around a lighter warms up, and you can be burned just by being too close to the flame, the intense energy of ignition would cause similar effect in all physical matter impacted (air, clothing, your hair, your skin, etc.) between you and the candle wick. Third degree burns are not fun, so to avoid this, as above stated, you would somehow have to skip over this matter... something that, again, is not possible physically.
What you start exploring then is the theories of willing your energy to a location with such intensity that you somehow manage to completely overstep the physical realm, and place it in a new location with such fervor that it is capable of causing combustion with pinpoint accuracy... despite the fact that nothing within the human body is otherwise capable of causing flame.
Now, you may argue that this isn't controlling flame. This is actually causing fire to ignite. Controlling the flame is easier, and possible. Well, otherwise influencing fire with your will alone would require the same incredible physics-defying feat. Every such circumstance I have encountered where somebody claims to be capable of such can readily be explained away with external factors that they chose to ignore. Wind, minor influences of gravity, breathing near the flame, motion near the flame, venting heating systems, natural air currents, etc.
No, you very much over simplify your understanding of energy. It cannot be created. It cannot be destroyed. It only changes state. And to change the state of something so drastically requires a great deal of upheaval; far more than the usually subtle influences of the mind and body.
Just buy a bic lighter. They're like .99.