Online Coven Initiation

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Forums -> General Info -> Online Coven Initiation

Online Coven Initiation
By: / Novice
Post # 1
I have been doing a little research on trying to create an initiation ritual for my coven, and it is proving, both challenging and enjoyable for me. I have received a little help from people here, which is always great for me. At any rate, while I was checking some things out, I ran across this, and found it quite funny. Thought I'd share :D It's by a man named Raven Gilmartin, whom I had never heard of before, but he caught my attention with this one.
Logging 2-14-01 23:01:34 pm EST

HPS>> Before we start our initiation ritual, I have an announcement.
Fluffy Moon Ferret has totally burned out her hard drive and
probably won't be able to get back on line for at least two weeks
EAST>> Darn! She was going to teach us how to make cyber corn
dollies next week :-(
HP>> Can I suggest that we table this and get down to business?
EAST>>Yes, sorry
HP>> We're about to start the initiation ritual. Is everyone ready?
WEST>> Present
EAST>> Ready
INITIATE>> I am ready

~~(1 minute pause)~~

HPS>> North?

~~(1 minute pause)~~

NORTH>>Sorry, I had to reboot
HPS>> Ok, we are all here. Initiate, are you skyclad and ready?
INITIATE>> Not yet-- hold on, I need to get a pillow
INITIATE>>Yes, I have a metal chair here at my desk. OK-- BRB

~~(2 minute pause)~~

INITIATE>> Ok, I am ready and skyclad
HPS>>Good, now do you have the cord?
INITIATE>> Yes, I have an orange one I got on sale at the fabric
store today, is that ok?
HP>>It will have to do. OK, now, tie your hands behind your
back, then bring the cord up around your neck...
INITIATE>>Ummm.... I can't do that by myself..
HPS>>Do you have anyone there to help you?
INITIATE>>Only my mom, but she would kill me if she knew
what I was doing in here
HP>>OK, forget the cord. Do you have the blindfold?
HPS>>OK, put the blindfold on and don't peek while we cast the
circle. Give us about four minutes
INITIATE>>OK, I'm going to put the blindfold on now, how will
I know when you are ready for me?
HP>>Do you have an alarm clock?
INITIATE>>Yes, but it's in my room
HP>>Can you go get it?
INITIATE>>Yes, but I'd have to put my clothes on-- my mom is
in the next room
HPS>>Never mind, just put on the blindfold and count to 240

~~(4 minute pause)~~

HPS>> Initiate?

~~(1 minute pause)

HPS>>Maybe he got disconnected?
INITIATE>>I am here-- are you ready for me?
HPS>>Yes, the circle is cast. Do you have your sword?
HP>>Yes, while you imagine that I am holding my sword with
the tip against your heart I want you to hold your sword in the
same way
INITIATE>>I don't have a sword..
HP>>Do you have an athame?
HP>>Do you have anything sharp in there?
INITIATE>>There's a pen on the desk..
HP>>Ok, point the pen at your heart
HP>>How do you enter this circle?
INITIATE>>In perfect love and perfect trust
HPS>>Good, now I need to whisper the sacred words to you
HPS>>Yes, do you have two phone lines? I can call you with them
INITIATE>>No, only one
HPS>>Ok, I'll e-mail them to you BRB

**HPS has left the chat room**
~~(1 minute pause)~~
**HPS has joined the chat room**

HPS>>Ok, I mailed them
INITIATE>>OK, I'll go look

**INITIATE has left the chat room**
~~(1 minute pause)~~
**INITIATE has joined the chatroom**

INITIATE>>I can't get into my hotmail-- I keep getting a message
that the servers are down
HPS>>OK, you can get them later. Now imagine that I am pushing
you from behind into the circle
INITIATE>>from behind?
HPS>>Yes, kinda like you are tilted, I am holding on to the cord.
Oh wait.. no cord.. ok, just pretend I am pushing you into the circle
HPS>>Now we are going to go around the circle three times.

~~(1 minute pause)~~

HPS>>Now we're stopping in front of the altar and I am holding the

HP>>You must kneel at the altar while the High Priestess scourges
INITIATE>>Do you want me to imagine that I am kneeling in
front of the altar or do you really want me to kneel in front of my
HP>>Can you kneel and still see the screen?
HPS>>If he kneels he must also put his head down on the floor
HP>>Well, I guess he can't kneel then
HPS>>Yes, he can, I have an idea. Initiate--kneel and put your head
to the floor and imagine that I am scourging you
HPS>>I am now scourging you

~~(2 minute pause)~~

HPS>>Initiate you must now scourge me twice as many times
~~(1 minute pause)
INITATE>> I am here, now what do I need to do?
HP>>You must imagine that you are scourging the High Priestess
WEST>>I need to go-- the baby woke up and needs to be fed
HP>>Can you feed him at the computer?
WEST>>Yes, I'll bring him back here with me. North, can you cut
me a door?

~~( 1 minute pause)~~

WEST>>I really need to go-- the baby is crying
NORTH>>Sorry, I had to reboot
HP>>Can you cut West a door? NOW?
NORTH>>OK, all set

**WEST has left the chatroom**

HPS>> Ok, should we continue or wait until West comes back?
SOUTH>>I think we should continue
EAST>>We should wait

**WEST has joined the chatroom**

WEST>>I am back, North can you cut me back in?

~~( 1minute pause)~~

NORTH>>Sorry, I had to reboot. West you are all set
HP>>Ok, where were we?
HPS>>The initiate has to scourge me. I am going to kneel down
here now, and imagine that he is plying the scourge
INITIATE>>Ok, I am imagining that I am scourging the High Priestess

~~( 2 minute pause)~~

INITIATE>>I am done

~~(1 minute pause)~~

HPS>>I need to go right now
HP>>Why? We are not finished here
HPS>>I banged my head on the desk when I got up-- hard-- I am
bleeding all over my computer. I need to go to the ER for stitches

**HPS has left the chatroom**

HP>>OK, we'll make this a healing circle instead
INITIATE>>I have to go too, my mom is in the hallway screaming
and wants to know what I am doing

**INITIATE has left the chatroom**

HP>> OK, everyone go light candles and we'll try to do this again
tomorrow night
**Chatroom closed**

Logging off 2-15-01 01:32:41 am ES

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Re: Online Coven Initiation
Post # 2
lmao....that was great. thanks for posting this, i couldn't stop laughing for about 10 minutes
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Re: Online Coven Initiation
Post # 3
That was the best...

Omg, how moronic?
Now I need a giggle break lol
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Re: Online Coven Initiation
Post # 4
I sooo wanna join em... ugh!
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Re: Online Coven Initiation
Post # 5
The funniest thing is, that somewhere, sometime, this is proably a true story. I can see it really happening.
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Re: Online Coven Initiation
Post # 6
that is so classic !! me 2 actually lol
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Re: Online Coven Initiation
Post # 7
LOL oh wow
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Re: Online Coven Initiation
Post # 8
LMFAO and they say that the internet age is supposed to bridge the gap... That definitely made my nite, I'm still rolling.. :P
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Re: Online Coven Initiation
Post # 9
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Re: Online Coven Initiation
Post # 10
That was silly. :P
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