Casting Instructions for 'Onion Banishing Spell'
1. Choose an onion whose appearance somehow reminds you of the target of your spell. Traditionally round shapes represented women, while sharp, pointy shapes indicated mean but choose whatever resonates with you.
2. Large, fat, tiny, thin. horrible misshapen-whenever you have found your onion, hollow out a hole within it, carefully reserving the piece of onion you have removed.
3. Write your targets name 5 times on a small slip of paper.
4. Stuff this into the hole in the onion.
5. Close up the onion by replacing the cut-out piece.
6. The next time the target of you spell leaves your home, discreetly roll the onion in their wake, before anyone else has the opportunity to cross the threshold, whether leaving or arriving.
7. Focus your mind exclusively on the person's imminent, permanent departure.
8. Do not bring the onion back into your home but dispose of it outside, preferably as far away as possible.
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