Casting Instructions for 'extremely complex mermaid spell that really works'
Go outside at night during a full moon. Make a pentagram with chalk directly under the moonlight. Place the 5 white candles on the 5 points of the pentagram and then place the blue candle In the center. Sit in the center of the pentagram. Light the blue candle first, then light the rest counterclockwise. Then recite the following
Adrift souls meandering among profound floors
Accredit me to departure from humanity
Countenance thy plunge from shore to shore
Poseidon, Repun Kamui, neriedes, Neptune mediocracy
Perceive my inclination
Take it too thy cetaceans
As I burn my one true, lock of hair (burn hair strand over the first candle across from you using tweezers!!!)
Next is thy blood, so thick and pure (cut yourself with the glass shard and let the blood pour into the next candle going clockwise)
And thy saliva, fresh and clear (whatever you do do not spit into the next candle, spit in a bottle then pour it in, do not put out the flame)
And a tear, thy use to vent and lure (using a fresh tear, drop it into the candle, once again, do not put out the candle.)
Now take thy urine so very mere. (pour urine into next white candle without putting it out)
And last I sacrifice thy shell of self (put nail clipping in candle using tweezers)
Now meditate until the blue candle burns out and you will be granted a mermaid tail when you touch water
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