Yes, I can understand that. I've had some bad experiences with Spirits, myself. For the most part, though, I've found them to be fairly kind.
As far as a reading, I would offer one, but I am still learning about Tarot cards. However, if you have a Barnes and Noble in your area, I got my deck there, so you may be able to buy one there or somewhere else, if you aren't able to find someone on here to do one.