Hi! I am unsure of which would be best. I am a newbie in this field, although spells have.always fascinated me. I want my spouse to leave me. He is currntly on dialysis for the last 3 1/2 years. Last summer, i found out he cheated on me & used a pathetic excuse as to why he did it. I cant bring myself to leace him with his condition & the fact that hes helped me raise my 9.5 y/o daugh since she was a baby. I don't love him & each time I try to leave, he gets very sick & winds up in the hospital (conveniently). My consience wont let me leave him like that. I do care about what happens to him as a human being, just don't care for the emotional & occa physical abuse I get from him. I figure if he left me, I'd be finally free. Thanks for listening at least. All suggestions are welcome, & please remember I am new at casting.
You do realize that by posting that he physically abuses you, everyone who reads this is obligated to report it to an authority who will probably remove any and all children from the home, even if you refuse to leave him?
Domestic violence laws and cases in Texas, USA are very clear.
When a woman refuses to press charges against her husband for physical abuse, and the police have no witnesses or evidence to allow them to arrest him, the SOP is to immediately turn the case/claims over to CPS (Child Protective Services) who tend to take quick and decisive action these days (because of their past failures to do so).
And while it may not apply to you across the pond, anyone here who knows of domestic violence and does not report it can be held legally responsible.
Re: Unsure of what to use
By: Brysing Moderator / Adept Aug 30, 2014
Post # 6
I didn't know that! But, as has often been said, we are "divided by a common language". Police here would not interfere unless "actual bodily harm" took place.Even then they would probably advise the lady to go to a "safe house"; a shelter for abused women. They would also have a "strong word of warning" with the man!
It is not really a police matter.It is for the Social Services to decide whether or not to take away the child.
Re: Unsure of what to use
By: Nekoshema / Novice Aug 30, 2014
Post # 7
well Texas is special from what i have seen. i live in Canada, i have dealt with abuse as a third party. when i was a child a friend of mind was physically abused by her alcoholic father, but since her mother was a crack head no one stepped in sitting it as the lesser of two evils. in my teens one of my closest friends had an insane mother, child services had been called countless times, but they would always believe her mother. once they left my friend got beaten. she eventually ran away after being kicked down a flight of stairs. finally some neighbours at my old apartment complex use to fight so bad the whole building was woken up. the cops were called a few times, but without the woman saying she was abused, they couldn't do anything because of the laws. [ever listen to Behind the Wall by Tracy Chapman?] Texas could be exception though.
ok, TexanSummer while magick can help via a banishing and protection against this man, it won't do anything if you don't toughen up and leave. if you love your daughter [and don't love this man as you say] you will leave. statistics show children eventually become the targets of abuse, plus the example she learns in childhood can effect her future. some children raised in these situations rise above, but others fall into similar patterns. you need to look into some type of self help to strengthen who you are, you have been beaten down, and without the strength to say 'too bad, so sad' whenever he claims to love you, or is sick, then you will continue this cycle. you are the only one who can fix this. we could give you all the magickal and legal answers in the world, if you aren't strong enough to start over and never look back, then its a mute point.
Re: Unsure of what to use
By: Aeons_Wing / Novice Aug 30, 2014
Post # 8
TexanSummer1, however you feel, you choose to stay by him when it seems like he needs you. That's a loving act if there every was one, and that can make it difficult--especially because you honor the good that he did, helping you raise your daughter for almost a decade.
If you stick around because it would look bad or because you feel like you're not that "bad" a person...Well, there's reclaiming your own authority to your own experience in your own relationship (that'll inevitably lead to you not caring how people outside of the relationship who know nothing might judge you), and affirming that you are a good person who's about to make a difficult decision. You might also want to look up "the wheel of power and control" because if you suspect that he uses his illness to emotionally manipulate you then that's another kind of abuse...and it's usually dangerous to leave an abusive partner, in this case it's just difficult. If he doesn't respect your decision-making yourself-being authenticity in the first place, then he's probably not going to leave it to chance if you sort of go the middle ground and take a long break from him (with your daughter, if you want) just to get some perspective on what you really want to do...which I think could be the best thing for you.
Free will is the only magic. (And calling the Fates down, to untangle your life-lines from each other, but that's difficult if you're bonded over lifetimes before both your births and like the suffering in this life is integral to true release...like, if you do that then you'll meet up in the next life anyway to pick up where you left off...but then, casting a spell like that could come at the exact right time and so also be integral to true release; I haven't quite sorted that out yet in theory.) Good luck.