Interesting chant. The problem is self destructive behavior is actually a subconscious desire to remain miserable. It's most commonly seen in personality disorders and is seen in extremes in sociopaths and borderline (BPD). See, no one is without a neurosis of some sort. We all are a little OCD, we can all be paranoid, and we can all undermine our own happiness due to deepset fears or conditioning. But "sanity" is within moderation/balance. When these normal isolated behaviors become exaggerated and consistent, that's when we are mentally "unstable". It's like a scale that's been tip too much in one direction.
So although your fairy may have meant well, she obviously doesn't understand the psychology behind self sabotage. "Happiness without consequence" shows the perfect psychology of that fear of the consequences that follow happiness. Get it out of your head. Happiness is in the perspective of the individual. There are no consequences, its a choice!
"Some of the happiest people in the world, go home smelling to high heaven at the end of the day" ~"God" from Bruce Almighty
People who self sabatoge have low self esteem but can act like they have an inflated ego. Their problem is that they either do not believe they can be happy (a fear that something will always go wrong) or they feel happiness knowing they can make/see others more miserable than them (but its shortlived so they have to keep doing it).
For someone who is self sabotaging themselves, I would suggest working on acquiring self love, defining what happiness means to you in a free writing way (stream of consciousness) and re-evaluating what can and cannot obtain that, that you do. Have a good friend help, they see more than you do.
If you still cannot find improvement, seek counseling.