First high priestess is a mark of how much experience and knowledge you have in the craft or your chosen path. It is a title that is earned through hard work and dedication. Second a priest and priestess are the leaders of the coven or what not. They guide the members and see to the over all work of the coven and that it gets done in accordance with your tradition. Therefor leadership skills are a must. In Wicca that is really what the third degree is all about. Learning the things needed to lead and guide a coven should you choose to branch off into one. Now this is just my opinion and please do not take offense but if you are practicing magick to see who is more magically inclined like it's a silly game then I would say that you do not have the discipline and leadership that SHOULD! not meaning that it is go into being a high priestess.
I applaud your dedication to your friends though and this is a leadership quality. I would suggest that you, until you all have the experience and skills needed, make the leadership of your coven a group thing. Perhaps both you and your friend taking turns running the rituals and sharing the duties of the coven high priestess until you are more qualified.
"I am 16 and have been studying magick for quite sometime now."
Someday you're going to look back on that phrase and laugh. I've been studying almost as long as you've been alive and I'm not sure I'd consider even that much "quite some time" for something like magick. I'm also not sure that even I would be ready to be a High Priest of a coven.
With that in mind, why a coven? Why not something less structured like a study group? Covens are kind of a big deal that take a lot of time and effort and which forms a spiritual bond. And if you guys have never been part of a magical group then how can you be sure you want to even be in a coven in the first place? Part of the reason a lot of groups require sponsors or have a year-and-a-day rule for joining is so that the prospective member can see if this is really what he was looking for. As the founding members of a coven you obviously wouldn't have that privilege and so it becomes important to be sure this is what you want to do.
I don't mean to sound rude but it may come off as though I am.
The fact that you and this is other person are competing and doing magick just to see whos the best at manipulating the forces of the universe just shows you do not respect or know enough about magick. It isn't just dabbled with at ones whim, magick without a purpose which is just stupid (for lack of a better word).
Magick is either 1) used to attain a higher spiritual enlightenment or 2) Used to attain something one wants when they have tried very hard using mundane methods. (or used to aid the mundane methods.
Like someone said (cant remember who sorry) you need to study before practice I am only 17 and I have been studying for about 6 years and I am still what I would class as beginner and when I say beginner I mean pre beginner really lol A true high priestess would ot use magick as a means of competition in my opinion.
If you still wish to do it and you both believe you have the same amount of knowledge leave it to a game of chance i.e. flip a coin or perhaps both draw a tarot card whilst thinking "What will a coven gain from having me as a priestess?" whichever one gets the most positive reading obviously should be the priestess.
Do you even need a priestess? Its only useful really in group ritual and even then I believe roles should be shared arou, then again I am a solitary practitioner and so I am my own high priest and priestess.
I am glad youy all shared but I am not the small ignorant child you seem to think I am. I am only thinking of what would be best for my friends and I. As someone messaged me yesterday, he said that a high priestess is brave, quick on her feet and has the ablilty to take on every challenge that comes her way. I may not be the bravest but I have courage. But I will never push a problem away, I deal with it when it needs to be, as in then and now. I am always up for things to be thrown at me. It's been like this my entire life.
Start out as a study group. Earlier this year my friends wanted to make a coven and had elected me as one of leaders and i turned them down. I have leadership skills and the basic knowledge but i was not ready to lead especially since where i live pagans are looked down upon so starting a coven would be like declaring war. And it sounds like you still are looking for a path to follow you cant lead if you dont know if you believe in the cause
"I am glad youy all shared but I am not the small ignorant child you seem to think I am."
... No one said you were small or ignorant. We're just pointing out that you are inexperienced. Saying this makes me feel sort of old, but I really have been studying magick since around the time you were in diapers. I've been in a novice's coven like what you describe, I've been a member of a magical order, I've received initiation, and I've been a member of a structured magical group, I've seen their good sides and their bad, and I've seen exactly what it does to officers (people of authority within the group, i.e. High Priestess).
I don't think you are small or ignorant, but as a person who has been there and done that I can assure you that a 16 year old newbie to magick is quite ill-prepared for the multifaceted position of High Priestess in a coven.
And I really do promise that if you stick with magick you will someday look back on the concept of being both 16 and having studied for "quite some time" and you'll laugh. It's something we all go through. The amount of knowledge on magick you have now is inconceivably huge compared to what you knew before (that is, absolutely nothing). It feels like you know a lot, but someday, when you really have been studying for quite some time, you'll look back and be absolutely astonished with how little you know right now. I'm not calling you stupid or anything, but it's the truth and it seems to be a very normal part of the learning process we all go through. I this is because so many subjects in magick are interconnected. As you learn one subject, you learn of five more. Following that trend, once you've studied two subjects you'll be aware of ten others, five subjects with twenty five others, ten subjects and fifty others, and so on. This means that as you study magick you become increasingly more aware of how absolutely massive a subject it is.
I've been studying for 14 years and I now realize that I truly know only a very, very tiny portion of the magical arts.
"I am only thinking of what would be best for my friends and I."
As are we. I know some of our answers kind of suck to hear, but we give them with only the best wishes to you and your friends.
"As someone messaged me yesterday, he said that a high priestess is brave, quick on her feet and has the ablilty to take on every challenge that comes her way. I may not be the bravest but I have courage. But I will never push a problem away, I deal with it when it needs to be, as in then and now. I am always up for things to be thrown at me. It's been like this my entire life. "
That is unfortunately an extremely lacking definition. Exactly what constitutes a High Priestess varies depending on faith, tradition, and group structure, but they're usually some combination of the following;
* Spiritual guide
* Teacher
* Counselor (spiritual, death, marriage, etc.)
* Group leader / project organizer
* Ritual leader
* Personification of a/the Goddess
* Judge
* Historian
* Figure head / inspiration / good example
* Public speaker
* Mother
As I had said, being a High Priestess is kind of a big deal.
And I know you don't intend to push problems away. I never suggested that you weren't willing to put forth the effort to get things done, but that doesn't mean that you'll actually be up to the task of solving these problems. You're only 16, and those 16 years have been rather closed and controlled compared to a life free of school and parent rule. You're going to find yourself unprepared for a lot of the demands put upon a High Priestess.
So to review, you are inexperienced in both life and magick and you do not know what a Priestess does. I truly do not wish to be mean (and I do wish you could hear the earnest of my voice in that), but with that in mind how can you say that it would be in the best interest of you and your friends if you were to High Priestess a coven?
You're all so new to this, why not just dedicate yourself to the learning of magick? Why constrain yourself and your friends to a coven? Why burden yourself with leadership responsibilities? Why not just help one another learn and see where things take you?
I urge you to listen to chironjackel. I have read a lot of his stuff and he wants to help and he is right you are close to me in age and i no nothing. Being even a council member is a lot of work and if you are under 21, even if you have been a pagan for all of the years, you are not ready to lead
if you feel ready, that's the only way you can tell. i've been studying the second longest in my coven, first being my friend fasterwolf, and when we decided who should be high priest and priestess, i was chosen because i'm the one who organizes EVERYTHING but i turned it down because i'm not confident enough to do it. on a fun side note, for high priest we chose a female because even though she has studies less, she knows more and is far wiser.
you should think about it. how big is your coven? do you feel comfortable standing in front of them leading the circle? are you responsible and organized? it's probably the next step for you, and you're just scared, so meditate on it, it could be the right thing for you.
There are a couple of things that I think it's important to consider.
First of all, a coven isn't simply a group of friends holding the occasional ritual. Nor is it a social group, a therapy group, or a study group. A coven is a very close-knit magical working group where the ties and bonds between coven members are often closer than the ties to family and relatives.
Secondly, as ChironJackal has said, being a High Priestess has nothing to do with whether you're the best magic user in the group. The JOB of being a High Priestess is a very, very difficult one. You won't get credit for what goes right in the group...but you will surely get blamed for everything that goes wrong. And being a High Priest or High Priestess isn't about whether you can lead a good ritual or not...but you'll be expected to do that as well. As High Priestess you become a tool of the Gods and they will use you as they will. That's not always a comfortable place to find yourself in.
To be High Priest or High Priestess is to place oneself in the hands of the Gods to use as they see fit. A High Priest of High Priestess should be clergy in every sense of the word. The position carries with it the responsibility for seeing to the spiritual needs of the other members of the group, and in assisting them through the mundane crisises of their lives.
Being a High Priest of Priestess is more than just leading a Sabbat ritual. It is the phone call at 1AM from a covener stranded on the side of the road. It is sitting at the bedside of a 21-year-old girl who has just been diagnosed with leukemia. It is helping a covener get through the funeral of her 18 year old brother who was killed in a car crash. It is helping a suicidal person deal with the grief of having their wife abandon them.
As a High Priest or Priestess, we are responsible for marking important passages in our covener's lives. We preside over handfastings and over life partings. As clergy we should be providing the same marriage counseling and grief work as any Christian pastor or Jewish rabbi.
The High Priest and High Priestess also stand as image of the God and Goddess. Their lives are no longer private, and they are held to a higher standard by those around them. When they have troubles, who is there to counsel them? Often there is no one to whom they can turn lest someone abuse their moment of weakness.
The High Priest or Priestess who embodies these traits deserves and has earned the respect given to them. It is not a position to be taken lightly. Anyone thinking of assuming it should think long and hard about what it demands and what they are able to give.
Remember, that when you give your vows to the Gods, the Gods expect those vows to be honored. If you are not ready to be and do all of these things, then think long and hard before you assume the title but not the responsibilities.
I have been a High Priestess now for nearly 20 years, and it's the most difficult, frustrating, tiring, and yet rewarding job I've ever done. If I hadn't had a sincere calling from the Gods to do this work I'd never have been able to do it for so long.
Some reading that I'd recommend for anyone thinking of starting up a coven includes:
"Covencraft" - Amber K
"Wicca Covens" - Judy Harrow
"Antagonists in the Church" - Kenneth C. Haugk
"The Heart of Wicca" - Ellen Cannon Reed
Seriously, for most starting out, particularly when it is just a small group of friends who haven't had a lot of training and experience in coven work, it is far better to start as a simple study group or just as a circle of friends without worrying about having High Priests and High Priestesses. Let it be the learning experience it can be and use it to begin to see what being part of a structured group might be like. Giving each other titles you aren't yet ready for is a recipe for disaster and broken friendships.
