I would like to summon an entity/dragon/demon or whatever and share my mind with it permanently.
I have been using recreational products to reach for "experiences" beyond the obvious reality. At one point i clearly witnessed a formless gold aura with my eyed closed. I felt my mind travelling to it, and felt myself be guided to it by "letting go" of something in my mind. While witnessing i experienced an emotion i never felt prior or again. After this i noticed all cats seem to act strange around me, having a desire to be in proximity of me but not necessarily close to me, and often staring at me strangely. Coincidentally or not i was born in the year of the cat.
I also feel that over the past few years that my consciousness has become naturally disconnected from reality due to my desires, and i feel a large space in my mind constantly growing.
I want to invite some kind of entity to my reality and allow it to share my mind with me. i strongly feel this is the next step in the path i am walking.
I personally don't have much of an interest in learning magic or spells, and obviously don't have much experience. I don't have the ambition or time, as i am much more interested in sound and music, which i spend all my free-time with. I believe i can aptly compensate with my understanding of self and my moral beliefs. In the last year my mind has become very calm and quiet due to the mindset i always hold. i want to fill this space now. i understand the consequences, have done reading, and can sensitize myself to a great amount of empathy. i want to take the risks, which i feel in itself are part of the reward in my journey.