I presume you're asking for specific advice about spellwork versus relationship advice? There are many of us here who are happy to give you both. I'll focus on the spellwork:
To add to the Road Opener, i would probably do healing work on him. He sounds like he is ruled, at least in part, by fear. That is no good to build a relationship upon.
I would burn candles for him pretty much constantly. I like the image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, a nice healthy, burning, heart full of Perfect Love and Forgiveness. But Christian symbolism might not work well for you, and in that case i'd just burn any old glass-encased vigil light. There's plenty you can do to "fix" a glass candle to your specific intent.
I have some great healing work and prayers, etc. on by blog. Go to my profile and the link is there. Search under the healing tab.
Healing work for him - maybe for you, a honey jar, plus road-opener = pretty darn thorough and holistic spellwork. Good luck. If it isn't meant to be, you won't have success - that's the sum of it. Love spells don't turn cold fishes into Cassanovas. Love spells don't turn a psychologically healthy person into a crazed stalker. They just don't. Period. Go ahead and give it a go.
The last couple posts were right. You came here looking for answers for a spell not relationship advice. Well consider this both. Im all for using magic for anything, however, I think this specific situation could be fixed without magic. An earlier post said to respark that loveee flame lol, well think about your first date, recreate it. Stuff like that. However, you may also do whatever you'd like because it is your decision. I just hope you tried other ways before going straight to using magic. Also, does this guy know about ur use of magic? If not, it could be dangerous down the road if he found out you used magic to "unblock that road". But who knows?
What I'm going to say is this: magic is not going to fix this problem. It's actually more likely to make things worse than they are at present.
Your ex, poor man, has a stunningly unrealistic idea of what a successful relationship is like, let alone how two people have to work together to build a successful relationship over the long term. I say that as I prepare to celebrate my own 28th wedding anniversary next month, so I've worn out that particular t-shirt several times over.
Your ex might be helped by counseling. But counseling is going to be useless unless and until he 1) admits he has a problem, and 2) decides that he's willing to do the work needed to fix it.
Magic, I'm afraid, is far too blunt an instrument for this issue. You want a scalpel here, to cut away the things that keep him from seeing the truth. Opening the Way, by comparison, works like a hammer, to batter down obstacles on one's path.
Not the tool I would recommend for your situation.
Again, thanks everyone for their input. I came here looking for spell advice because I feel like I've exhausted all conventional ways of getting him back.
We've talked. I've written him letters and poems. I've given space. I've shown love and support. We've spent time together and cried about how much we still love each other. I've tried to remind him of why we fell in love. I've recreated dates and special moments. We've spent days laughing until our sides hurt. All our moments continue to be warm and tender. Special. Every time we see each other it's as if the world doesn't exist yet at the end, he ends up high tailing it in the opposite direction. I ask him why he does that and he says bc the past has proven we don't work so he can't allow himself to revisit that despite how great it may feel in the present. Despite how he may feel towards me.
So, yeah, he's severely blocked and I've tried everything. So here I am now trying this. Because there is nothing else left for me to try. I've done everything one can do to fix, save, recover a relationship. So I'm asking for help here now because I feel like it's out of my humble, human hands.
Fragarach, You and I were typing at the same time. I have to admit, I agree with you 100%. but as a woman in love, what can I do? The heart wants what it wants. Whether the object of its desire is damaged or not.
As I'm new to this, I don't quite understand what you mean regarding the sledgehammer and blunt instrument references. Magick doesnt have more finesse than that? It's all or nothing like that? It can't be more delicate and refine when it needs to be? I have no idea.....
I'm not a big fan of using love spells for any reason, however I know they can work and are infact part of magick.
Can magick influence him to come back? Yes. Can it influence him to try it out for a bit longer? Yes. Will these spells bind him to your forever? No.
Just keep in mind, that when all is said and done, he is still going to be who he is right now and sooner or later these issues are going to arise again. Are you prepared to go through the pain of break ups again, for as many times as you have to cast these spells?
As a woman, as a human being, I can understand how the heart aches even when we know it might not be the best situation...but I also know that once we let go and let ourselves heal from the pain of it..we move on and 9 times out of 10 find ourselves happier.
I'm of the firm belief that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't like that reason. So under that thought process these spells can bring him back to you...but if he's not "the one", despite how much you may want him...it won't keep him around for to long.
One of the more difficult lessons for any student of magic to learn is that now matter how adept at magic we may become, there are always going to be problems that we cannot resolve.
Some times this is because the problem is really insoluble, the sort of situation where NOTHING can fix it, no matter how much we may desire a different outcome.
But all too often, the situation is one where the problem that we see is really not OUR problem to solve. The situation you have described for us here, I think, is one of these problems. Or, more properly, it is your ex's problem to solve, not yours. In saying that, I recognize that for you it will be a difficult thing to be told that. But it's the truth, as best I see it. And the Gods expect truth from us when we act in things like this.
As I said, I honestly think that this is your ex's problem to solve, not yours. If what you have described to us about his beliefs is accurate, he stands no better chance of maintaining a relationship with someone else over the long term than he stood with you, precisely because he has a decidedly unrealistic perception about how people in a long-term relationship interact. You can't fix that for him, not mundanely, and not magically. The latter, in particular, is unethical in the extreme. Because what you would be doing is using magic to change him without his knowledge or consent. No matter how good your motives are, such an act would be a gross abuse of power. And the Gods I serve frown on that sort of thing.
Your ex is going to have to fix this on his own. Which will require, as I pointed out earlier, that he 1) recognize that he HAS a problem; 2) decide that he wants to make the problem go away; and, 3) commit to doing the work to actually resolve the problem. (Which in this case wouldn't be all that much work: it's steps 1 and 2 that are the real hurdles here.)
There isn't any of this that you can do for him. He has to do it on his own. And some times, no matter how much you may love someone, if you really love them and want the best for them, all you can do for them is let them go.
