OK,first let me say,Im sorry that things didnt work out like you wanted,but a 5 year relationship rarely goes down without some signs.
If she has gone and shes not coming back,look toward the future.
If you keep your eyes on the past youll miss what may be right ahead.
You never know what may be waiting around the next corner for you,so concentrate on finding out the why if you want.
Or concentrate on the now...thats not magick...just my advice