|A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: ?For Women Only.? Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. ?We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It?s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what?s inside.?
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: ?All the men on this floor are short and plain.? The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: ?All the men here are short and handsome.? Still, this isn?t good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: ?All the men here are tall and plain.?
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: ?All the men here are tall and handsome.? The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: ?There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.?
This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn?t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, ?Happy Birthday!?, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ?Happy Birthday.? I thought? Well, that?s marriage for you, but the kids? They will remember.
My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn?t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, ?Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!? It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o?clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, ?You know, it?s such a beautiful day outside, and it?s your Birthday, why don?t we go out for lunch, just you and me.? I said, ?Thanks, Joanne, that?s the best thing I?ve heard all day. Let?s go!?
We went to lunch but not where we?d normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, ?You know, It?s such a beautiful day? We don?t have to go right back to the office, do we?? I replied with ?I suppose not. What do you have in mind?? She said, ?Let?s go to my apartment, it?s just around the corner.?
After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, ?Boss if you don?t mind, I?m goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I?ll be right back.? ?Ok.? I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake?
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing ?Happy Birthday?.
And I just sat there?
On the couch?
Teacher is fed up with the lack of effort in her class. so finally she asks the class ?stand up if you're stupid? hoping to prove an important point.
Suddenly Billy stands.
The teacher asked ?Billy are you stupid??
Then he replies ?NO, I just didn?t want you to stand up there all by yourself!!!!